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The Two Asian Americas (newyorker.com)
138 points by lermontov on Oct 26, 2015 | hide | past | favorite | 116 comments



One of the weirdest things I've found about America as someone who grew up in Europe is racial segregation.

When I look on Facebook pictures of my european friends, they tend to be in a big mix of colors. Sure, there's more Indians at an Indian wedding in London, but you will see the little gang of white/east asian/black kids there too. Go to a majority (ie white) wedding and you will see they have a bunch of Indian/Chinese/Black etc friends.

When I look on the Facebook pictures of American friends, they are quite clearly color segregated. I really find it odd that out of maybe 300 guests at a wedding in SF, only a couple are not from the same minority.

America is also the country where I've found the strongest racial stereotypes. In Europe it's not really the stuff of comedians anymore, but when I went to a comedy night in NYC, the guy looked at me and said "Why aren't you doing homework?". Funny, sure, but it says something about what the audience already believes about various people.


Segregation is often self-imposed. As an Asian-American, I often can't relate with white people. What they worry about and enjoy do nothing for me. This started from a young age (what is allowance? what is getting grounded? hobbies?) and although I have many close white friends, on a whole they are the minority in my friend groups. The only way this segregation has to do with race is that stereotypes are exactly that, true for a distribution. Another way to say this is that people I end up relating well with tend to come from the same experiences (namely that of growing up Asian-American).

In addition, I'm often super surprised at these comments. The US is many orders of magnitude less accepting of racism than Europe. Europeans on the whole speak freely of their negative opinions of Muslims and gypsies. In the US, any comment mentioning race carries immediately with it a negative connotation. This is exactly why it is the breadstuff of comedians. There is no humor in something that is simply accepted as "truth" as much of European racism is.

I hate speaking anecdotally, but just as a credit to my experience with racism in Europe as an Asian-American, my time there was filled with experiences ranging from ignorance to aggressive defensiveness. Most of this can be explained away as just inexperience due to Europe's immense racial homogeneity. Often they would treat me as a fob which was an acceptable assumption. But this just goes to show how behind Europe is in the racial conversation (they don't even have racial experiences!)


It's strange. I'd echo the sentiments expressed in the parent about the UK when it comes to Australia, too. Seems like people identify with their race before their nationality in the US. We don't have "African-Australians" or "Asian-Australians" here. Everyone is just Australian.


>I often can't relate with white people. What they worry about and enjoy do nothing for me. This started from a young age (what is allowance? what is getting grounded? hobbies?) and although I have many close white friends, on a whole they are the minority in my friend groups.

Interesting. Do you personally think that if a white person were to express similar sentiments, he would be guilty of racism?


I'm trying to construct the similar sentiments you are asking me to. Let me know if this is correct.

> I often can't relate with asian people. What they worry about and enjoy do nothing for me. This started from a young age (why is there chinese school on saturday? what is discipline by disappointment? no privacy?) and although I have many close asian friends, on a whole they are the minority in my friend groups.

I'm not sure why I would think that is racist.


> I'm not sure why I would think that is racist.

Well educated white people tend to be more sensitive to things seeming racist, because they really don't want to seem racist. Hence the idea of political correctness (PC). I get the impression that Asians in Asia don't care as much about being PC as white people in America.

But that difference - like the differences you mention - isn't racial, it's cultural. The culture just happens to correlate with the race.

> why is there chinese school on saturday?

There are plenty of white minorities that would identify with this. E.g. Jews have Hebrew school, Greeks have Greek school. Have you seen the movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding?


> But that difference - like the differences you mention - isn't racial, it's cultural. The culture just happens to correlate with the race.

That was exactly my point. But because they correlate with race, they get imposed upon you and associated with you even beyond what culture brings.

> There are plenty of white minorities that would identify with this.

Part of this must take into account how Jews and Greeks were not considered 'white' for centuries. Furthermore, it also speaks to how I don't even know exactly why the average white person implicitly doesn't understand me.


Those strike me as understandable sentiments, but I do think they are racist. Are they bigoted? No. Racist? Yes.

Such sentiments try to extrapolate information on a group of people based off of a non-random sampling. There's bias introduced by the geography of one's life, if nothing else.


Racism by definition requires some generalization, however the generality of statements or beliefs do not racism make.


Yes, you've captured the sentiment.


In which case, I don't think it's racist, though I can see how a white person would be sensitive and worried that it is racist.


In Europe, capitals tend to have a much less racist behavior. If you go to Paris or London, for example, then I agree with you and it's true that you have less segregation and a tendency not to have strong racism (but even then it depends of which minority you're part of... Muslims tend to have a harder time even in capitals compared to all other minorities)

However, if you go to the small cities, then racism is very prevalent. My wife is asian and when we're in small cities in France (Nantes, Rennes, Rouen, Toulouse, ...) it often happens that people speak to me but behave as if she were transparent. They just completely ignore her as if she weren't there.

It also shows in term of votes with smaller cities tending to vote for parties like the French FN.


Saying europe has better race relations than america is misguided. you can't compare the two. america has 300 million people and is 70% white, 15% black, 12-20% latino and 6% asian. for comparison, the UK has 60mm (about the size of california and new york) and is 87% white, 7% asian and 6% black, for example. the UK is also what we call an urbanized ountry, in that a large proportion lives in cities, which is where most of its people of color reside.

it is easier to integrate urban, small countries with manageable percentage of immigrants. e.g., Sweden (population 10mm) versus america (pop 300mm). when you have a large land mass, enormous population and very high rates of immigration and naturalization (let's not forget that France and Germany do not allow as much naturalization as USA), the task of integration is that much harder and more complex.


Funny how in America they classify Arab people or more accurately native Arabic speakers as white when it is actually not accurate at all and it just shows how ridiculous these designations or labels are.

At least, let them get their racial terms or classifications right before they could start muddying the water hype up racial tensions between communities.


America's racial classifications follow a very practical application rather than some grand racial theory. this is a good thing, because as we know race is more a phenotype than genotype. thus arabs are grouped with whites because, according to traditional racial classification, they are caucasoids. there has been no adjustment to this because immigration from the middle east has not been a huge number since those days. indians (south asians), also considered caucasoids in the 19th century system, are however lump-summed with asians (mostly mongoloids), for practical reasons. the practical reason has to do with socio-politics. for now, indians have similar immigration and social characteristics in common with east asians. thus categorizing them together has a practical purpose with respect to social services, immigration policy, etc.

as you can see, classification is a tricky problem. america's classification is constantly evolving. every 10 years america takes a census and every time there is a change in the boxes for race categories. this is an attempt to keep pace with changing views. it's not a perfect system but it's not bad. it certainly beats france's system (which literally ignores all racial categories according to principle--leading to all manner of unintended negative consequences including inequality towards recent immigrants or citizens of color).


It's funny, but I would have said the exact opposite. Not sure what part of Europe you've lived in, but I found the UK to be very segregated compared to New York. There's a sense that anyone was welcome in Britain, but immigrants could never really be British.


> In Europe it's not really the stuff of comedians anymore,

The BBC has plenty of comedy where racial stereotypes are commonplace. Even the great lefty Stephen Fry has them on his QI show, as he makes jokes about 'dagos' and Alan does his shitty Mexican "speedy gonzales" joke accents. Occasionally you'll see a Welsh celebrity arc up over the incessant sheep-shagging jokes as well. I can't speak for European standup per se (or continental fare), but I can speak to the BBC tv episodes that get shipped over here.

One thing that stood out for me was that I remember seeing John Oliver call out Dara O'Briain on Mock the Week for making racist French jokes (on the smelly/don't wash stereotype) and now Oliver has his own show in the US, he's constantly using racist stereotypes in his skits. Racial stereotypes seem to be pretty hard to get out of comedy, even amongst the more highbrow comedians...


I too have noticed the same. While the part of Europe I come from is completely white for various reasons, nobody really cares about race. If anything we'll make jokes about ethnicity. But they're only jokes, no systemic segregation happening.

Then you come to the US and it's all about race race race and more race. Even in what is supposed to be their most progressive city - SF - it's just about race race race. Even street comedians/entertainers will play the race card every two minutes.

Honestly, it's boring. I understand that US likes to codify class issues as race issues, but ... stop. Call them class issues, and address them. Turning class warfare into race warfare doesn't help anyone. You are born with your race and you can't change it. You are born with your class, but you can change it.

Focus on that part.


> While the part of Europe I come from is completely white for various reasons, nobody really cares about race.

Maybe because in a homogeneous society, there's no reason to talk about race.

> Then you come to the US and it's all about race race race and more race.

Maybe because unlike the parts in Europe that you mentioned (which were completely white), there are different races here.

> You are born with your race and you can't change it. You are born with your class, but you can change it. Focus on that part.

People here are NOT discussing race because they want to change their races. They are discussing race because just like sexism, homophobia, etc, racism against anyone (even if they're doing well professionally) is something to highlight, acknowledge and work towards getting rid of.

I'll certainly want to be in a country that actively talks about race than a country that doesn't. If you think not talking about race means there's no or less racism in Europe, then just look at soccer / football.


> I understand that US likes to codify class issues as race issues, but ... stop. Call them class issues, and address them. Turning class warfare into race warfare doesn't help anyone. You are born with your race and you can't change it. You are born with your class, but you can change it.

This is a very European attitude, to the point where four European countries have gone so far as to remove the word "race" from their lawbooks[0]. The problem is that removing actual racism isn't as easy as simply erasing the word, and by removing the word, we remove the ability to take effective action to combat racism.

This isn't turning 'class warfare into race warfare'. Masking racism in this way makes it impossible to address, and thereby perpetuates racism.

[0] e.g. http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/feb/12/francoi...


[off topic: Im on the New Yorker tech team]

We just launched a feature called "remind to read", that lets users send themselves a reminder email about content. Depending on where you trigger the service, the reminder email will send you back to where you were.

To see it while reading, scroll up. A module appears in the bottom righthand corner.

It launched last Thursday. I'd love to hear everyones thoughts!


Thank you for doing such great work. The New Yorker is one of the few publications I pay for in print and will continue to do so for quite a while. You guys do ads right, and your site isn't bloated.


Thank you!

We do our best to keep it this way.

If you come across any annoyances, please reach out!


What would be very useful is an "update reminder" feature where if some information in the article is updated (maybe a couple days or a few years) later, a reminder is sent.


Thats a great idea!

Have you seen newsdiffs?


nope, but i will. Thanks :)


On my browser, it pops up and immediately down. I can't ever use it.

[browser version removed]


Will fix!

Thank you


Just noticed that while reading this very article - I think it's a good idea, relatively unobtrusively implemented.


Yep! I wanted to specifically target uses who would actually want to get a reminder. Its been pretty effective since. Almost 80% open rate on emails that people send to themselves and over 20% click rate. This is a huge win for any notification/ bookmark.


>>In the eyes of some, Asians in America are, Lee writes, “perpetual foreigners at worst, or probationary Americans at best.” If Asians sometimes remain silent in the face of racism, and if some seem to work unusually hard in the face of this difficult history, it is not because they want to be part of a “model minority” but because they have often had no other choice.

A racial epithet was thrown at me and my family in parting by a homeless person last year while crossing the intersection in my neighborhood, which we shrugged off. This quote prompted the memory again, and I think that Asians in Western countries may remain silent also because causing a scene is, in general, considered "unseemly" when little is perceived to be gained. I originally felt this to be a rather rational response for anybody else (regardless of their race), but when placed against the backdrop of the Immigration and Nationality Act of '65 mentioned in the article, I'm considering a different response the next time, although I sincerely hopefully there won't be a next time.

Makes one almost laugh good-naturedly at serious and systematic Canadian Québécois policies devoted to keeping the French language alive in Canada. I much rather prefer intense debates around language over race.

EDIT: I grew up in the Middle East, where racism is overt. In Saudi Arabia (for example), your salary for the exact same job is to a large extent determined by your passport nationality. I grew up expecting it there; but it always give me pause when encountering racism in a Western country.


Racism against Asians in North America is really puzzling. It is excessively common to hear female acquaintances, even asian ones, say that they would never date an asian guy. Compound this with comments that belittle asians in movies, TV shows and in just about every conversation, I sometimes wonder why they keep so quiet. Then I remember that racism is a complex and delicate question, and that our society is still incapable of dealing with these issues in 2015.

ps: As a child of bill 101, I do not really understand what you meant by that comment about French in Quebec.


> I sometimes wonder why they keep so quiet.

A big part of it is being consistently dismissed or more often punished for speaking up.

Because of the myth that racism "doesn't happen" in the West, or that racism "doesn't happen" against Asian-Americans, if you try to speak up about it, one of two things will happen:

1. You'll be told that you should just rise above it[0], that you're imagining it, or (my personal favorite) that it's "not really racism" because $REASON.

2. You'll face outright retaliation for bringing it to light, and thereby forcing people to face an uncomfortable truth

After a while, the fear of these reactions gets internalized, and people decide that it's safer just to remain silent.

EDIT Ironically, as I'm writing this comment, this pattern is already playing out in the sibling comments, with more than one person telling OP that he should just ignore it (or in other words, "be better than that"). Which misses the whole point of the story.

[0] and this is how the role of the "model minority" is actually used as a weapon


At least for movies and TV, it's all about the unwritten rule that you can't punch down, but it's okay to punch up. Big Bang Theory is a good example: it makes fun of the stereotypical nerdy white, brown, and jewish guys. That is socially acceptable, because these are the same demographics ruling the country from Silicon Valley and Wall Street.

Of course not every asian guy is a 1%-er working at Google. But lots of old white guys (always an acceptable target for comedy) also struggle to make ends-meet. Regardless, that's where the media has chosen to draw the line. I'm not defending the practice, but I'm pretty sure that's what explains your observations.


You don't even need overtly racist comments in movies to satisfy a structural system of racism. The absence of strong minority leads is enough - I can't think of any Asian or Middle Eastern actors with strong leading roles in America (unless they're really hot women serving as exotic temptresses, which isn't really the same)


Jakie Chan? I guess he almost always plays a buffoon in his English speaking roles so that doesn't really help. Jet Li is usually pretty competent and the Filipino action star is usually looked up to. I haven't seen any middle aged Asian stars who are just respectable and or successful.


Strong and _Diverse_ leading roles.

Traditionally, the only lead roles afforded to Asian males are either 1) nerds or 2) mystical martial artist


Are people like Jet Li and Jackie Chan to stereotypical to count?


There's other examples like Ken Jeong, Kal Penn, John Cho, and more.

Also the weird history of Asian actors playing Native Americans in Westerns...


I'll give you John Cho and Kal Penn.

But Ken Jeong? The guy whose biggest movie role to date is "Mr. Chow" in The Hangover, where he pranced about in tighty whities with an exaggerated Chinese accent and making slow jerkoff motions?

The same Ken Jeong who infamously did this shoot with GQ? http://www.gq.com/gallery/ken-jeong-kate-upton-mens-slim-cor...

Video if you're interested: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hLYXqqgfAY

It's hard to perceive much of his work as anything but modern variations of Long Duk Dong, ultimately I consider his work to have added to Asian stereotypes.

The guy is free to take the role he wants, but IMO as far as "actors dismantling Asian stereotypes with their work" his career so far has been as far from it as it gets.


What if black actors only played athletes?


I suggest that you let go of this incident as it is not worth it to get all worked up over a casual insult especially from a homeless person as you'd be dragged into their mud and they'll win by experience.

I recall some time ago I was walking down the street when a panhandler approached me and asked me for money and as usual I ignored him and when he noticed that I paid no attention to his request, he told me he hopes to see me burned alive to which I replied with a fake smile and just went on thinking how he could thought that insulting me would win me over and make me change my mind and pay him, and that's it. 15 seconds later, I had better things to preoccupy my mind with end of story.


Anyone know if there is a place where whites are a discriminated against minority? Zimbabwe?



Does anyone know if there is a place that we can read about first hand accounts of the trials and tribulations of white people in Japan? Are there special slurs especially for white people?


Spent four years in Japan. Got stopped on a regular basis by cops in Tokyo to be inspected for drugs and weapons. Even twice within the span of a kilometer once. Anecdotal, but there you go.


I've been here for thirteen years and have never had trouble with cops. Not once been stopped apropos of nothing and asked for ID, inspected for whatever, etc. If anything, I've been in a few situations where the cops should have given me a harder time than they did, but for whatever reason did not. I'm a white male.

Thing is, I know plenty of foreigners who have a similar experience to your own, so I know you're not wrong. I don't know what I do differently, but Japanese cops do not bother me at all.


I was almost always left alone. I knew a guy who was bugged all the time. The difference between us was that I was quiet on the subway, dressed in a subdued fashion. Basically I was a square. He was not. Japanese cops profile people. I _think_ what it boiled down to was, I didn't look like the sort of person who might be carrying marijuana on their person, another difference between my friend and I :-) This could be extremely outdated information though, that was over two decades ago (thinking about moving back, if a no-longer-young person can somehow find work.)


Could be, but fwiw for a little over two of those years I had a full beard, long hair, looking pretty rough, etc etc. And, as I mentioned, even times when the cops could and probably should have given me a hard time, they did not.

wrt moving back, I will be leaving next year due to the job market here, so there's a data point for you. It's not impossible to find work, but if you're in tech and coming from the US be prepared for a bit of a shock.


Thanks for the advance warning... :-(


Okinawa in particular (because of the history of men of the US armed forces sexually assaulting women outside the base)


Gaijin is the classic one, isn't it?


Gaijin is just "foreigner" (though it is a slur, as it's an abbreviated form of Gaikokujin). What you're looking for is "Hakujin", meaning "white person". I'm not sure if it's really a slur, though it does feel a bit odd to me if people use it to refer to me.


Gaijin is not an abbreviated form of gaikokujin, and neither term is really a slur. There aren't a lot of words in Japanese that are unambiguously slurs, like there are in English. That said, there are words that, when used, are used in a pejorative sense more often than not. Hakujin is probably one of them, and kokujin definitely is.


That covers any foreigner, though, not any specific subset.


hmm, let's see.

iraq, afghanistan, syria are obvious, no? being white makes you a target for assassination, kidnapping.

china and japan have slurs against whites, see them as brutes.

being white and walking into areas in much of latin america is a bad idea. again, kidnapping and other crimes. same is true for pockets in the USA, from SF tenderloin to the bronx.

if you're an affluent white person bigger and bigger areas of the world are being shut off from you.


As a male WASP, why would you bother with what a homeless person thinks of you? I too ignore the angry hateful ones. They hate me too, though they may lack epithets for me. It's a pointless unwinnable argument, and you'll never look like the good guy, yelling at a homeless person


There's a very good chance I'll get downvoted for this, but what the heck:

> As a male WASP, why would you bother with what a homeless person thinks of you? I too ignore the angry vitrolic ones. They hate me too, though they may lack epithets for me. It's a pointless unwinnable argument, and you'll never look like the good guy, yelling at a homeless person

The answer is in the original comment

>> If Asians sometimes remain silent in the face of racism, and if some seem to work unusually hard in the face of this difficult history, it is not because they want to be part of a “model minority” but because they have often had no other choice.

Asian-Americans are told by others all their life that it's uncouth to speak out about injustices that happen to them. Ironically, the first comment on an article that discusses this point mentions one of these injustices, and the first reply is a comment that suggests that they should remain silent about it instead.

It's one thing to remain silent as a conscious decision not to want to look like the "bad guy", but it's an entirely different thing to remain silent as a conscious (or unconscious) reaction to the societal role that you've been conditioned to.


I guess my point of confusion is that it seems to me like angry homeless people using slurs are not an injustice visited upon Asian Americans, but rather garden variety obnoxious people who in my experience hate everyone, not just Asian Americans.

I understand Asian Americans face systemic racism; it's just that the particular example at hand seems like something else.

My original parent is welcome to say things back if they like. But it just seems pointless, no matter what nationality you are.

Anyway, I know I'm on the "wrong" side of this discussion for HN, but that doesn't make me less confused.


You are absolutely right. It should be easy to brush off homeless people, belligerent drivers, random drunk people, immature teenagers, dumb co-workers, etc.

Minorities tend to be more sensitive because their armor has already been pierced multiple times. That's why "the confidence of a man" or "the confidence of a white man" is a saying.

I know the crap I go through it's not even a fraction of hers but this is a good example.

https://thsppl.com/why-i-m-absolutely-an-angry-black-woman-2...

It explains why some of my friends are super sensitive.


Ok, that actually does make easy intuitive sense. I can understand being more sensitive or less self-assured. Thanks.


I think you missed the part where he said he is from middle east, so not a WASP. It is hard to understand why someone feels bad about racial slurs until you experience it yourself. It is somewhat tolerable when the discrimination comes out of people's ignorance, but it is hard to tolerate systemic discrimination.


I moved to the US in 1992 at the age of 9. It took me more than a decade to feel like an American. To feel like I belonged. Took just a few racist comments from my co workers to take that feeling away. Yup, probationary American at best.


That really sucks, dude. I'm sorry your coworkers are such assholes. My situation was similar. I came to the US in '94 when I was 3 years old. Being one of very few Asian kids in mostly White schools was not fun. But thankfully, I haven't personally experienced any overt racism since graduating from high school.


Similar story for me here (8 years-old, 1994), but the sad thing is maybe his coworkers weren't trying to be assholes.

It doesn't even take something particularly racist to really bring things to a distilled clarity - it's not that they hate you or hate your race, but the realization that no matter what you do, what beer you drink, what work you do, what organizations you work with, where you live, or anything else, they will never see you as an authentic American.

(or in my case, Canadian, bah details)

That's the part that stings the most, not the vicious racists spewing hate at me, but the knowledge that everyday, reasonable people will never fully accept me as an authentic Canadian, and they see no problem with it.


Thanks for the support. :)

The sad part is most of them are nice people. They just lack life experience. It's almost comical. One guy got offended when heard that a black director made a movie called "Dear White People". :/


Racism against asians is delicate. It's not like overt and violent racisms black people face, where it's easy to recognize and be dealt with.

Take one example.

If you denounce your own color, you are quickly accepted and praised for being funny and unbiased; if you speak up about the injustices, you get labeled as too sensitive, confrontational and quickly cast off.

It's funny to see so many Asian Americans hating their own kin, they just unconsciously internalized those behaviours because doing so gives them social credit.


On this topic, I think Malcolm X had some wisdom on the phenomenon of self hate and mental colonization.

> Who taught you to hate the texture of your hair? Who taught you to hate the color of your skin? To such extent you bleach, to get like the white man. Who taught you to hate the shape of your nose and the shape of your lips? Who taught you to hate yourself from the top of your head to the soles of your feet? Who taught you to hate your own kind? Who taught you to hate the race that you belong to so much so that you don't want to be around each other? No... Before you come asking Mr. Muhammad does he teach hate, you should ask yourself who taught you to hate being what God made you.

> You go into China and find a Chinese man that believes in Jesus and ask him to paint a picture, he’ll paint Jesus looking like a Chinese man. You go up to Alaska and find an Eskimo that believes in Jesus and ask him to paint a picture of Jesus, he’ll paint a picture of Jesus looking like an Eskimo. You come back here to America and find a white man that believes in Jesus he’ll paint Jesus looking like a white man. Go inside a Negro church who believes in Jesus and ask them to paint a picture of Jesus, they’ll paint a picture of Jesus looking like the white man. That’s what you call integration.


Depending on where you live in the states, you can see many different scenarios play out. California, specifically Silicon Valley, is definitely a melting pot. I was born and raised in the Bay Area and have seen differing scenarios play out.

During high school living in the East Bay, an african american friend (who came from money) was regularly followed and occasionally pulled over because he was in a nice car and driving through nice neighborhoods (where he lived).

Working in a semiconductor startup many moons ago, a lot of the Chinese hardware engineers kept to themselves and didn't interact outside their group.

Living in Santa Cruz, the "minority" population is primarily Hispanic. I can't speak to the schools, but many many keep to their groups and don't make an effort to integrate into the community as a whole.

Maybe it is dual sided racism, but ethnic groups that live in large numbers and don't become part of the overall community and instead build their own island for me is just as problematic as a society that isn't open to others joining and becoming part of the whole. This is not to say that culture and history should not be preserved, practiced, etc. but moving somewhere and excluding yourself from the community as a whole is also problematic.


Everyone forgets the flip side of the integration problem. The majority group needs to be welcoming of minority groups or else they will seek out their own. Interracial friendships, dating, etc are still not the norm. A lot of that is due to subtle exclusion of other groups.


> The majority group needs to be welcoming of minority groups

Can be hard when the minority group prefers to speak in a different language. It's give-and-take. Often minority groups are just fine balkanizing instead of making the effort to integrate. And the minorities are often walking a tightrope between their parents and the majority culture which makes it hard to bridge this gap. So they find it easier just finding people in the same situation. That's why integration often takes generations, and typically takes longer the larger the minority.


The immigrants all have their own baggage as well. It's not a unidirectional problem. We could be as welcoming as possible, and still have different groups separate themselves.


> California, specifically Silicon Valley, is definitely a melting pot.

LOL, that's a good one. I always thought California was the engine behind this systematic racism since it's no longer politically correct to have racial bias in Federal Law to restricts citizens' behavior. The media is the only way to influence their mind.


What makes you say this? Have you ever lived in California?

I live in the San Gabriel valley, and while it's not perfect, "melting pot" is an apt description, certainly compared to places I've lived in other states.


> What makes you say this?

Hollywood greedy practices

> Have you ever lived in California?

Honestly, no


I, like I suspect most Americans, do not see Arabs, Sikhs or Indians as "Asian". Isn't this more of a Britishism?


Yes as a result of the empire if a British person and British Asians says Asian they mean for the Indian sub continent or those Asians ethnically cleansed from Africa in the 60's and 70's


You do know that India is in Asia, right? Also, Sikhs more often than not are Indians. Sikhism just like many of the world's other religions (Hinduism, Buddhism, Jainism) was born in India.


For Americans, "Asian" usually means the people we fought with or against in the Pacific in WW2, Korea, or Vietnam.

For a significant fraction of Americans "Indian" evokes visions of cowboy antagonists or casinos, rather than the Taj Mahal. That's not politically correct, but that is what it is...


Well, in that case this needs to change, because it is just not correct and offends both "Indian" Indians and native americans.


Where do you live?


This story hits close to home for me. Up until recently this year, I pointed to many things in my life except myself as the reason for me not being a self-actualized Asian American.

My internal heckles followed the pattern of "I'm XYZ, so I can't [fit in with this social group, be attractive to her, etc]" where XYZ included:

- too short

- Asian

- not interested in sports

- a gamer

- too poor/cheap

One day I realized I can't change how I feel at the moment, but I can choose what to do in reaction. If I buy into the feeling's line of reasoning, I'm keeping my situation the same. If I'm honest with myself, I'm usually not thinking such things because I'm happy with the status quo.

Complaints about the status quo are useful if they lead to action, but until then they're an energy sink.


I grew up as the few asians in a hispanic/latino whatever neighborhood. Yeah, there are racism when you're the minority.

There are racism everywhere, you learn real quick to either work with what you got or cry about it. Maybe white have it better.

It doesn't matter, you work with what you got and ignore all the hater. America can always be better but it does give you the ability to move up in class wise and a great country.

Oh but you know what? I knew an Asian girl attending my university. She was born in the 1990s, and her family photo is like a college text book. Bunch of mixed races, white, black, asian, and hispanic. Turns out her uncles and aunts marry outside of their race.

It's all good.


I am Indian. Honestly I don't really care about some white American calling me cow worshiping heathen. (which I am).

What I find remarkable is the law and policies which are racist in nature. Asian Americans are never considered a minority in the popular discourse where as Blacks and Hispanics are considered as minority.

But given all that, I do think it is in America's interest to control who comes to USA and who does not and there is nothing wrong in passing laws that might prohibit any kind of migration to the country. What matters however is that when a personal lawfully gets naturalized he/she must be treated as just any other American.


Sadly, that uneasy agitation I felt after reading the article was mollified when I read the experiences of others in the comments. I am not the only one, not alone. Thank you for sharing your experiences.


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We detached this subthread from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=10455121 and marked it off-topic.


Uh...have you read Marx or my comment? You're really off base with the ad homs. Also, (Han) Chinese descendants control the majority of the Indonesian and Malaysian economies. This can't be a serious comment.

You're blind to what that tweet means: want ME leads? watch middle eastern movies, at this specialized movie exhibition. don't go to the movie theaters though!

I very clearly meant Hollywood, our arbiter of American taste.


Hollywood doesn't determine that, though. They're less of an arbiter than a mirror. They're a business, they follow the money, and they'll cast whoever will make them the most.

It sounds nice to say "let's have more asians" but when the box office results suffer from it, why should they? It's unreasonable to expect them to take financial losses, or to forego profit.


There's a feedback loop.

Hollywood for sure caters to mass opinion through things like focus groups, but they also wield a tremendous power in shaping this mass opinion in the first place.

That's a large part of why there are so many AA men and women with self esteem issues. (similar parallels exist for other minorities, they just might manifest differently). You end up with minorities who prefer to see white actors because that fits their ideas of beauty, and then the machine truly becomes unstoppable. This line of thought isn't new. It's just https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Bluest_Eye all over again.

Back to being asian, I don't expect hollywood to take any risks to represent me, so I've begun looking elsewhere for decent representation in movies. Luckily the media industries of HK, korea, and japan are pretty good.


it's a self-fulfilling prophecy - when society is conditioned to only accept clooney/damon/etc-types in leading roles, then of course the focus groups will 'prefer' a white vs minority lead actor. the first step to changing that is understanding the past - so it's kind of moot whether hollywood reflects or decides.

we can, of course, make a converse economic argument. if we "have more asians" then that changes what people think of movies / culture. the industry might make less in the short-term, but in the long-term, having more diverse casts on screen opens up more diverse markets, foreign and domestic.


You're welcome to make that argument in the producer's room. I'm sure many are. You're dead in the water though, if you lead with, "you're going to make less money, but you might make more in the future."

And remember where Damon came from. It was a self-written, self-starring but extremely clever screenplay. Nothing can stop an ambitious asian from doing the same thing and working his or her way up.


Ad homs? Relax your sphincter.

>Chinese descendants control the majority of the Indonesian and Malaysian economies.

Alright Göbbels, I'll tell my in-laws that it's ok they are discriminated and attacked by both civilians and politicians in Indonesia and Malaysia as THE CHINESE CONTROL EVERYTHING.

There are some fucked up issues if one think it's awful to be Chinese in America and fine in Malaysia and Indonesia.

I take it they don't offer safe spaces and coddling rooms in Wharton?


> say that they would never date an asian guy

as an asian guy, let me just say that quite frankly, the solution to this is to 1. be attractive, and 2. don't be unattractive. lift weights, dress well, have cool hobbies, make money.

girls say a lot of things due to social pressure but when the chips are on the table you can't negotiate attraction. it's subconscious.


We detached this subthread from https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=10454989 and marked it off-topic.


I don't agree with this mod decision. The detached post responds to a point in the parent comment and this thread is generally discussing a theme of the original post: Asian Americans being second class citizens.


The subthread veers on a generic broey dating-advice tangent that is clearly not on topic here.


I mean...the point is that even the 'subconscious' is socially trained. In an environment where every 'People's Sexiest Man Alive' is white 30 years running (fine, Denzel got a token shoutout), where your only Asians in movies are comic relief or simply straight up belittled, there is a very real Eurocentric training.

And what constitutes a cool hobby? If attraction is subconscious (or love at first sight?), what does it matter if I play semi-pro badminton vs semi-pro lacrosse?

There is much more at work than 'being attractive' when that standard of beauty's defined by forces way outside your control.


The harsh reality of our society is that as your earning capability increases as a male, your pool of potential partners increases dramatically.

I don't buy the whole (no pun intended) "get a hobby, start improving yourself" mantra either, because I know that the sexual marketplace is just as rational as any other.

Nothing makes you more attractive to a woman than the double which represents your bank account balance. There are of course external signifiers which communicate this information.[0]

Or, to use the vernacular:

"I ain't saying she a gold digger, but she ain't messing with no broke niggas"[1]

[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conspicuous_consumption

[1] http://genius.com/Kanye-west-gold-digger-lyrics


> Nothing makes you more attractive to a woman than the double which represents your bank account balance.

Not really on topic but it is a teachable moment; You should always use fixed point math to deal with currency. Floating point math is not consistently accurate and should never be used.


If banks often don't bother with it I don't see why anyone else should have to :-)


Nothing makes you more attractive to a woman than the double which represents your bank account balance.

Women tend to find high social status attractive, which is correlated with wealth and income but not the same thing. The broke musician who packs the club with hundreds of fans is going to do way better than the introverted software engineer with half a million in the bank.

I don't buy the whole (no pun intended) "get a hobby, start improving yourself" mantra either

Hobbies can help if it's something that the general public will respect you for. Woodworking good, Magic bad.


> Nothing makes you more attractive to a woman than the double which represents your bank account balance.

Based on knowing a few people in each category, i would say that that the average white american with a $100,000 net worth is going to have far more success with women than an asian american with a $10,000,000 net worth, assuming similar levels of fitness and social skills.

Once you go above a certain level, there just aren't that many avenues to 'show off' your wealth without looking gaudy. (At least not until you get to private jet/yacht territory) You might have a nice house, but how will the average women know that? You might have a closet full of tailored suits, but are you wearing that every day? You might drive a Tesla, but so do a lot of people in the valley. If you have an apple watch edition, you just look like a douchebag.

At best, women will look at the typical wealthy asian american as the 'stable' guy to settle down with, and not the guy to have a one night stand with, or explore their sexuality with.

My advice is for the asian american to focus on going to the gym, rather focusing on their bank account. And if they have already made money, use some of it on personal training and hiring of a nutritionist.


I think you need to meet more/different women. Yes, some are only interested in their partner's bank account (just like some guys are only interested in their partner's looks), but that is by far the exception, not the rule.


your average good-looking, muscular, broke-as-a-joke bartender is getting laid way, way, way more often than a rich guy who thinks women will like him for his money and who doesn't take care of his body.

you should ruminate on that.


>'People's Sexiest Man Alive' is white 30 years running

It sounds like an interesting study to see how the local tabloids pick their "sexiest" choices. Does Lativia's "People" equivalent proportionally reflect their population demographics over time? What about China? Nigeria? Brazil?


Take a hypothetical example: Four guys (white, brown, Asian, black) born and brought up in the same neighborhood, they have the same physical attributes (height, weight, relative looks).

Who do you think most girls are going to go for, assuming they do not know that they grew up in the same environment?

Exactly...


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You can literally apply this same logic to any form of discrimination:

Paid less because of your gender? What good does complaining do? I suggest you work harder.

Injustly stripped of your property? What good does complaining do? I suggest you start a business.

Forced to sit in the back of the bus? What good does complaining do? I suggest you exercise more so you can walk longer.

Profiled by the police based on your skin color? What good does complaining do? I suggest you dress better.

Ostracised from society because you're gay? What good does complaining do? I suggest you hide it better.

Assaulted because of your religion? What good does complaining do? I suggest you learn to fight.

You should understand that behind every complaint is an implicit call for collective action, which is the only way to solve problems these types of problems. Dismissing these grievances, like you're doing here, has the affect of discouraging not only the person being discriminated against, but also other victims. Even if you aren't doing it consciously, your attitude smothers attempts at collective action maintains the status quo of discrimination.


I don't think anybody is complaining that aesthetic preferences are derived and shaped from pop culture.

Rather, it's important to understand what subconsciously influences people, so one might make sense of the seemingly counterintuitive results one has when it comes to the fairer sex.


As another Asian-American guy, I want to second this. Up until earlier this year, I felt paralyzed and victimized by American society. That is, I felt passively punished for not looking like Brad Pitt, Justin Beiber, or other American sex symbols. I had achieved enough financial success that I felt like the only major thing "missing" in my happiness was a relationship or healthy dating life. And I blamed external circumstances for that.

Then I realized, by analogy, that I was perpetuating my own situation. The biggest turnoff for me wanting to recommend a friend for employment was hearing him complain about how unfair the job market is, how worthless his university education was, and so on. In the decade since I've graduated from college, I've witnessed friends jump around across companies and careers and I've witnessed other friends stay put and complain. Complaining can be useful if it leads to action, but it's also a strange and unfortunate local minimum for many people.

To build off of beachstartup's point, it's worth considering your objective when you complain about something like social inequality. Is your complaint motivated by a desire to be happier and more fulfilled, or by a desire to see a fairer world? I can shamelessly say that I just want to be happier, so I'm going to try to play the game instead of trying to change it. For now.


the analogy you use is perfect. the person who complains about the job market is in a hole only he can dig himself out of. like most kinds of success, it's all about a mindset and a work ethic. the person who just complaints about shit is shrouded in such a mental fog it's literally impossible for them to be helped.

to further elaborate - "most" asian guys do much better in the work force than they do in the dating game - why? simple, they've spent their entire lives training to work, and NONE of their lives training how to be successful with women.

explaining this shit to people makes me feel like i'm describing breathing air to a fish. it's all very simple, yet people just get stuck in such a mental hall of mirrors.

it's like the sexual equivalent of being caught in poverty. it truly is a mindset, yet those stuck in it are absolutely convinced otherwise.


I agree, and that's what I tell myself and others who feel they are disadvantaged in the dating world (due to their skin color or not).

However I feel this is also a short-term and selfish way to go. There has to be a way to make the world a more equal place, even if you and I don't live to see it.


I am not sure of the point here. I think we have to help those that need help first, I mean what are we going to do start pushing for increased aid for those of Irish descent.


People often forget that systemic racism against Asian Americans is also racism. That's part of the point. That you can do everything right and have things go reasonably well, but have it all taken away from you because of the color of your skin.

Like the physicist who was innocent but had his family dragged through an espionage trial because the officials didn't even bother to consult experts in the field.


I'm not sure if that was necessarily racism though. I think because China is now seen more and more as an enemy and the professor was born in China, maybe that's why. Not excusing the the FBI, just questioning whether racism was at play. What if it had been a white Russian scientist? Would it have been different?


Does that happen to Russian scientists in America often, though? Because there is precedence for baseless accusations against professors from China:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wen_Ho_Lee

Though to be fair, there is also precedence of actual cases of espionage:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Chinese_spy_cases_in_t...


Though to be fair, there is also precedence of actual cases of espionage

This is literally the definition of racial profiling.




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