This story hits close to home for me. Up until recently this year, I pointed to many things in my life except myself as the reason for me not being a self-actualized Asian American.
My internal heckles followed the pattern of "I'm XYZ, so I can't [fit in with this social group, be attractive to her, etc]" where XYZ included:
- too short
- Asian
- not interested in sports
- a gamer
- too poor/cheap
One day I realized I can't change how I feel at the moment, but I can choose what to do in reaction. If I buy into the feeling's line of reasoning, I'm keeping my situation the same. If I'm honest with myself, I'm usually not thinking such things because I'm happy with the status quo.
Complaints about the status quo are useful if they lead to action, but until then they're an energy sink.
My internal heckles followed the pattern of "I'm XYZ, so I can't [fit in with this social group, be attractive to her, etc]" where XYZ included:
- too short
- Asian
- not interested in sports
- a gamer
- too poor/cheap
One day I realized I can't change how I feel at the moment, but I can choose what to do in reaction. If I buy into the feeling's line of reasoning, I'm keeping my situation the same. If I'm honest with myself, I'm usually not thinking such things because I'm happy with the status quo.
Complaints about the status quo are useful if they lead to action, but until then they're an energy sink.