The "programmer joke" and "programmer cartoon" questions were two of the most highly upvoted questions that have since been removed from the site because they aren't actually programming questions. I created this archive to attempt to preserve some of this early history of Stack Overflow.
A programmer walks into a bar and orders 1.00000000001000000...897175 root beers. The bartender says, "I'll have to charge you extra; that's a root beer float". And the programmer says, "In that case, make it a double".
On the way to a sales call, a salesman, a project manager, and a programmer were kidnapped. When their employer refused to pay the ransom, the kidnappers granted each a last wish before killing them. The salesman said, "I still want to make the pitch I prepared for today. It's awesome and will only take an hour." The project manager said, "I still want to present my Powerpoint for this project. It's only 92 slides." The programmer said, "Kill me first."
A mathematician, a scientist, and a dean were kidnapped. When their university refused to pay the ransom, the kipnappers announced that they would kill them all, but only after each got his last wish.
The mathematician said he had an elegant alternative proof to the four color theorem and would like to sketch it out. It would only take 1 hour.
The scientist wanted to show his proof that the universe is flat. It would only take 2 hours.
The following anecdote about Steve Jobs is from [1]:
I was sitting in Steve's office when Lynn Takahashi, Steve's assistant,
announced Knuth's arrival. Steve bounced out of his chair,
bounded over to the door and extended a welcoming hand.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Professor Knuth," Steve said.
"I've read all of your books."
"You're full of shit," Knuth responded.
There's a talk by Randall Munroe (xkcd) at google where this is debunked by Knuth himself. It also features him being asked questions about Python by Guido.
The final exam in my Networks class had a section with jokes and comics and you had to explain why they were funny. The following two were on it, among others:
The great thing about TCP jokes is you always get them.
A TCP packet walks into a bar and says, "I want a beer." The bartender asks, "You want a beer?" and the TCP packet says, "Yes, a beer."
At IBM, there was a project to figure out what made great programmers. They were going to give a psychological profile test to a group of their programmers. Unfortunately, they didn't have enough copies of the test. Luckily, the test came in two halves, so they just gave one half of the group the first half of the test, and the other half of the group the second half. After finishing the first section, and switching sections, the psychologist read the same directions as the first half, and then (expecting no response) asked "Any questions?", and was somewhat surprised when one of the best programmers in the group raised his hand. "Yes?"
"Are we supposed to use the same personality on this as we used on the first half?"
(From Gerald Weinberg's The Psychology of Computer Programming)
Quick octal explanation: In an octal system, each digit ranges from 0-7 (each digit in a binary system is either 0 or 1, or each digit in base 10 ranges from 0-9). Therefore, when you get to 8, you can't write 8; you have to use another digit and reset the first one back to zero, which gives you 10. 9 in base 10 is one higher than 8, so we just increment the first digit, which gives 11 in octal.
The original joke is: "Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9 (seven ate nine)." Obviously the original intent is lost when you use octal.
EDIT: Of course five of us decided to respond at the same time.
A joke of the first order was told to a Scotchman, who was unable to see it.
The person (X) who told this joke told the story of how the joke was received to another Scotchman, thereby making a joke about a joke of the first order, and thus making a joke of the second order.
X remarked on this joke that no joke that no joke could penetrate the head of the Scotchman to whom the joke of the first order was told, even if it were fired into his head with a gun.
The Scotchman, after severe thought, replied: "But ye couldn't do that, ye know!"
X repeated the whole story, which constituted a joke of the third order, to a third Scotchman.
This last Scotchman again, after prolonged thought, replied; "He had ye there!" This whole story is a joke of the fourth order.
(from "The Philosophy of Mr. B-rtr-nd R-ss-ll", by Philip Jourdain)
A programmer's wife gave her husband instructions for the grocery store: "Get a margarine, and if they have eggs get ten." He returns a while later, bringing ten margarines and saying: "They had eggs."
Two Programmers are walking along the sidewalk when both simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill on the ground between them. They begin a lively discussion of the nature of the problem, what is right? What is moral, what is just? What would people of various religions say? Should we split it? Does might make right? They spend hours discussing the fascinating problem and what should be done about it. They finally decide to settle things like the enlightened manner appropriate for civilized beings. A game a rock paper scissors. While performing the game, a Religious figure runs up, grabs the money, waves around a knife and disappears back into the crowd.
My program won't compile, I think I've lost one of my bits, can you help me find it? I think I dropped it on the carpet over there, it may have rolled under the desk.
The "programmer joke" and "programmer cartoon" questions were two of the most highly upvoted questions that have since been removed from the site because they aren't actually programming questions. I created this archive to attempt to preserve some of this early history of Stack Overflow.