I genuinely recommend a pet, especially a cat, to any depressed person reading this comment with even just a modicum of income. It’s the perfect amount of responsibility and payoff, to put it in terms a robot could understand. It’s very hard to fuck up so badly to cause permanent injury or death, and most unadopted cats live lives much worse than you at your worst. Take the risk, adopt, fix, and grow.
My neighbour got a dog but they do not look after it. Please only get a pet if you plan to give it love. Leaving it at the house all day while you work and not taking it for walks is completely unfair on the animal, and they (and everyone in our building) suffer because of it.
That said, especially for introverts, a dog can be a magical thing. Proper care requires daily walks and dogs are, by nature, gregarious. Some breeds will attract other people without effort (I had a beagle and had I known how appealing they were to other people, I would have gotten one when I was a lonely single man). Walking a dog daily means you get daily exercise and daily socialization.
I would agree, but with a caveat, especially with a cat: be prepared for a long haul, and possibly not what you expected. I got a cat when I was 23 and single, and after a couple years (and marriage) she got a seizure disorder that required twice-daily medicine. She lived for 17 years. She was an extraordinary companion, but if you had told me that I would turn 40 before she passed, and would move her through five states, I would have never believed you. My wife passed, then one year to the day, that cat passed. So aside from the obvious, I wouldn’t trade the experience with her for anything.
One of the costs, if you are childfree, is that you now go from zero dependents to non-zero dependents. This cuts off a lot of options in life: your remote job can no longer be done from Japan for two months in the summer or an island in Thailand for a quarter in the winter.
There is a huge value to being able to travel for long periods on short notice in the first half of one’s life. A pet mostly/usually prevents that.
> I genuinely recommend a pet, especially a cat, to any depressed person reading this comment
I can second that, my first boss (excluding family cats before I went to Uni and later had my own place) helped me through some bad spots¹ by just existing and being pleased to see me. On days I would otherwise have hibernated, getting up to make sure she had breakfast and a clean tray meant I was up and that made doing something with the day for myself much easier. She was one of my key constants through the ups & downs. And after a bad day at work, being purred at is wonderful, as was just playing around with a thing-on-a-string for her entertainment. I went a bit odd(er) during the covid lockdowns, I would have no doubt dealt even worse with the “stir-crazy” thing without her company.
> with even just a modicum of income.
Though if you only have “a modicum”, I strongly recommend pet insurance.
Gayle was taken two years ago, after ~12.5 years as my boss, by an aggressive case of lymphoma. The diagnosis and treatment for that² cost a goodly chunk of money. I was in a position to handle that financial hit without worry, but someone working minimum wage with few savings would have had little choice but to euthanise considerably sooner to avoid a drawn-out painful end without actually properly knowing what was wrong.
A couple of months after Gayle, I adopted an elderly pair (10 years each) from a local rescue. I wasn't quite ready, but the heartstrings were pulled as they'd been there for months with no interest because of their age and how shy they were, they didn't do well in the rescue & foster environments. Max (the shyest of the two) took quite some time to properly settle in and feel safe, but has since become a most affectionate companion (I am sometimes headbutted & massaged to within an inch of my life!). He unfortunately has developed a minor heart condition and had a little trouble with his waterworks³, again nothing that I can't afford to deal with but that someone living closer to their means might struggle to manage.
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[1] FYI: I am <checks official bit of paper> “prone to bouts of bipolar behavioural activity” and have been suffered from burn out.
[2] Palliative care was the only practical option really, the prognosis was such that anything else would likely have had little effect on the outcome and would have just served reduced her QoL in her final months due to vet stress and side effects.
[3] neither uncommon in older males, cats and humans alike!
I recommend more than a modicum of income to be actually responsible. I’ve had a dozen or so mixed breed cats in my life to date. Cancer, diabetes, kidney failure, liver failure, dementia, and FIP have claimed about half of them, with huge medical bills to match. A cat on the street usually dies violently and suddenly, but when you take one in, that includes caring for it in old age too. Cats (and no living animal) is fire-and-forget pet ownership.
Cancer, diabetes, kidney failure, liver failure, dementia, and FIP would all kill a cat on the street, too. It's not irresponsible to give them a sudden, nonviolent death in these cases. It could be argued that spending a lot of money just to keep them alive is selfish. I can give a cat a better life than it would have on the street using a modicum of income, and responsibly not spend a lot of money just to let them suffer should the reaper come knocking.
It’s certainly a polarizing idea I think, but I could never be convinced to start investing thousands of dollars or a huge amount of time into keeping a very sick animal alive. I appreciate and respect the kind hearts of those who would, but I’d force myself to say goodbye.
My only pet, a cat whom I adopted as unexpectedly as Mii was adopted, very mysteriously ran away (super out of character, she was a happily indoor-only cat) when she was 13 but before her health had become a severe impediment or cost. I missed her terribly and still do, but I admit that it was a great blessing to not have been forced to make such a decision. My hope is that she sensed she was dying and some wild part of her deeply wished to be in nature again and in solitude for that experience.
This tantamount of "using" a pet to improve your life than genuinely care for them. What could happen is once you improve your life, you may slowly start detaching from it and throw out. That special bond may not form, if you only buy/adopt because you are depressed.
In that case, you're not using an animal to improve your life. At most, you're forcing yourself to look a bit outwards and focus your energy on an animal, in other ways put strain on yourself.
Most pets love you unconditionally back, as long as you don't abuse & neglect them knowingly. They will look after you and motivate you to continue having this feeling by looking after yourself, too.
Losing a loved pet can leave a scar which can last a life time. I still miss my pet bird, which lived for more than a decade, and died peacefully, and brought limitless joy to everyone in the family, by loving, demanding attention and trolling us.
Animals may look simpler than us, but almost all of them know the language of love and care way better than us.
The full book is a fantastic read, yet beware that it takes some quite dark turns describing the author's depression at length and it includes some scatological depictions of animal suffering.
It's ultimately a tale about grief and so it's peculiar that the cover design gives the impression it's a cute, feel-good story.
The bonds we forge with other animals can bring another source of durable meaning to our lives. Even a brief show of trust from an animal while present in their environment can create a memory that lasts forever.
I talk with my cat, and the conversation is so fluid that my 5 year old son asked, "Dad, when did you learn to speak cat?" He is multilingual, so I guess he was wondering when he would have "Cat speak" at school or whatever.
I told him I pretend what I think the cat is saying, which seemed a bit if a let down to both of us. But ever since, I realize it's not so much pretending, we really do converse, and it's a pleasure.
My first cat (who just magically arrived in our garden) is only 5 years with us. But it's so cool how you learn to read their body language and noises/sounds so quickly and so well.
I remember, before I had a cat, that cats could be so unpredictable. A good friend of mine had a cat that loved to be pet, but could claw you a millisecond later. Now, after owning one, I can read their faces, ears, tail and other cues. I'm sure I could have read that cat better now.
I converse with mine too. He replies with a positive prrr or yell if he agrees. If he's not interested in what I'm offering, he will look disinterested. I love him to bits.
lmao I think this is cat/human interactions for sure; that said, it's easy to assume cats only talk in simple terms, like food or complaining about food.
When I was younger, a little cat appeared on our doorstep. We named him Pew. He’s already 16 years old and has been with me throughout my childhood and adolescence - my whole life. Although he recognized my father as his owner, he is still very much a part of mine. When I started living alone, I adopted another ball of happiness from a shelter. I named her Gadget. I love her insanely, and she loves me back.
Ha, I know just the nerdy factoid to trot out to legitimize the frontpage placement. Brace:
These little cat-human conversation pieces embedded within remind me enormously of the telepathic conversations in Alfred Bester's mighty genre classic The Demolished Man and their special typesetting.
Is he really criminally underrated if My Stars the Destination features in just about every "best scifi books" list I've ever read? Maybe not as high up as it deserves on those lists but that's hardly criminal underappreciation
Sure, but it's pretty rare to see people talk much about Bester compared to other SF novelists. Also astonishing to me that none of his work has ever been made into a film that I'm aware of. Same with Jack Vance.
Yes, it’s interesting how different cultures have such different ways of telling stories (although sometimes that gets a bit muddied with the massive cross pollination between global media).
I once encountered this diagram comparing cultural thought patterns in a Japanese textbook, it comes to my mind regularly https://jellypictu.re/p/8dd73d2c
I would greatly appreciate if you could share the name of the textbook in question. I found the work it cites and am interested to know how others perceive it.
Its possible that the Japanese text book is a translation of Purves (see below) or just an excerpt.
FYI For other readers...on researchgate I found the same picture, and the paper that embedded the pic cited it as:
Kaplan, R. B. (1972). Contrastive rhetoric and second language learning: Notes toward a theory of contrastive rhetoric. In A. C. Purves (Ed.), Writing across languages and cultures: Issues in contrastive rhetoric (pp. 257-304). Newbury Park, CA: Sage
(I found it by googling for some of the words in the pictureand adding "1970s", since I had a feeling that the terms used were rather old fashioned, even if strictly accurate in a dictionary sense (like "Oriental"). And modern academia doesnt pay as much attention to Russia as it once did, but the author called it out.)
And of course, if you Google for, say,
文化的思考パターン kaplan
(Cultural thought patterns kaplan)
Youll get a lot of japanese language books and articles that use this picture. I didnt check to see if any were the one whose photo was posted.
Is the suggestion that an English story is told from Point A to Point B, while the other cultures meander in various ways?
This seems confusing to me, as a regular reader of short stories and personal histories and other things in English that, actually, sound very much like this personal history here.
its interesting to me that that is the way the discussion turned but its not what i originally meant. there were just qualities to this story that are hallmarks of great modern japanese short and long form lit. for example:
- referring to characters by single letters (c.f.: K in Kokoro)
- romantic descriptions of nature as the meat of the work that ties the actual plot together (... basically all japanese lit since ooku no hosomichi in the 9th century)
- anthropomorphism of nature like the wind talking (c.f.: the sound of the mountain)
- a pervasive sense of nostalgia, especially when telling a story by way of the places one has lived in their early adulthood ( again basically all "slice of life" lit and tv )
My wife volunteers for a no-kill cat shelter. One night a literal basket of kittens was found on their doorstep. The shelter was already well over capacity, so we became foster "parents" for them. The runt of the litter (whom the shelter had named "Chrome") was terrified and cried constantly. After a week or two, she bonded with my wife, and would cry whenever she was not around, and wanted nothing to do with me. I recall one time when she escaped their play-pen when I was home alone, and clawed the skin off my hand when I had to pick her up and put her back, hissing and crying.
After a month or two, space in the shelter opened up. All her siblings were quickly adopted, but her fearful, shy nature meant she was left behind. So she became our first "foster fail" and we adopted her.
She now likes me just fine (though still not as much as my wife). What I love about her is that she's the perfect work companion. She likes to sit next to me on the couch when I'm working, and puts her paws and/or head in the crook of my arm (unlike our other cat, who seems jealous of my laptop and does his best to prevent me from working).
My wife and I brought two kittens into our lives 16 years ago. The bonds that we forged with those animals were deep. We had to walk one out of our lives in November due to advanced kidney disease. A couple weeks after that, the other one decided that her time had also arrived.
I’m not ashamed to say that I miss them dearly. I weep from time to time. It’s like losing a limb. I can’t imagine ever putting myself through that again.
But the trail seems to go cold there. The lore seems to suggest that it originated on Reddit but it probably got lost in the purge when Reddit exiled non-official clients.
Does anyone know what kind of runes these are? I mean, I know they're norse, but are there different kinds of norse runes? I've had hard time figuring that out. Furthermore, are the runes accurate to the English translation below?
yes, the runes and the translation seem to match.
runes were not only used for norse. english also used runes before the latin alphabet arrived
It sucks, but it is worth it, to have them in our lives. I have had pets throughout my life. The only one I don’t miss, is a psychotic parrot, from my early childhood (given how long they live, it may still be kicking around, biting people’s ears off). Our cat (a marmalade tom) is like a member of the family. We lost his brother, a few years ago, and that was rough. I do recommend getting rescues, over breeder animals. I feel it is better for the soul.
I have a friend who is in his mid-sixties, and delayed getting a dog, until he figured it would outlive him, as he hates the pain of loss.
Not sure I’d want to do that, myself. I have seen what happens to pets, when their owners pass. In a lot of cases, they end up in kill shelters.
I found it a bit odd when I got a dog that I was struck with an instantaneous grief shortly after getting it as I considered the fact that I would almost certainly see it die.¹ Oddly, this has never happened with the many cats I’ve had although I have always grieved their deaths when they happened.
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1. The alternative, of course, being that I would die first.
I got a cat when I didn't know how much I needed him. He brought structure and joy to my life in a way that really turned it around.
Unfortunately, two years ago he was diagnosed with FeLV+ even though he was an indoor only cat. Today we're having an at-home quality of life consultation as I suspect we'll have to put him to rest in the coming days.
Outside of beating myself up from not doing more for something that is preventable I gave him the very best care both in terms of medical and supportive.
Having this little guy for almost half of my life changed it in such a positive way I support anyone thinking about getitng a cat.
That was beautiful. How a single night, a breeze, a cry in the dark can change a life. The smallest moments (ones we don’t plan for) can shape our entire world.
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