You don't need to be an alpha male. You don't need a massive bank account. You don't need to know how to salsa dance, play the guitar, or fix a car. You don't even need to be a chiseled Greek god. Get all of these "I need to be X" thoughts out of your head.
A relationship is, at its core, a friendship. It is NOT, I repeat, it is ABSOLUTELY NOT an obligation. Nobody owes you a fucking thing, ever. Yes, even if you do something nice for them. Until you can truly think this way, it's not going to work.
You can read some books too or whatever, but please don't use "I read a book on love" as a crutch for actually practicing and taking these values to heart.
It's not a math problem, it's a human problem, and humans aren't some logical puzzle with an answer. Enjoy the ride.
I can't stand this modern, nihilistic, cynical take on love.
A relationship is an obligation, you'll have to do things you don't want to do to care for your partner. Marriage starts with a list of vows, a relationship is a mutual engagement to care for the other. It is literally a list of things you are owed, you are owed having your partner stand by you when you are sick, you are owed having your partner care and provide for you when you can't provide for yourself. It is not the reason you give them your love but it doesn't mean it is not owed. A relationship comes with many responsibilities, it is not just two entirely separate individuals who owe each other nothing and can do whatever they please and just happen to live together. If you don't feel your owe your partner your loyalty and love and care, you are not doing your part.
A relationship is, at its core, a friendship. It is NOT, I repeat, it is ABSOLUTELY NOT an obligation. Nobody owes you a fucking thing, ever. Yes, even if you do something nice for them. Until you can truly think this way, it's not going to work.
You can read some books too or whatever, but please don't use "I read a book on love" as a crutch for actually practicing and taking these values to heart.
It's not a math problem, it's a human problem, and humans aren't some logical puzzle with an answer. Enjoy the ride.