most people find one of the most high paying jobs they can, then adjust their lifestyle to that income, then if they miss the mark ('lowball offer') they have to keep looking.
lifestyle regression is exceptionally hard for humans, especially if your friends/neighbors don't have to go through the same thing (e.g. there's no war raging in your country).
the best thing to do would be to keep your spend way below your means. this maximizes your options and gives you choice. but who does that?
I’ve found keeping expenses well below my means provide a great sense of freedom and autonomy. I don’t need to stay at a job I don’t enjoy and not having work means it’s not a big stressor. It also means I can be selective in the job I do end up taking instead of worry about not being able to pay the bills if I’m out of work too long.
This. But it really depends where you live and when (or if) you bought a house. I live in a city that has very expensive housing but bought in 2011 just before the prices corrected after the 2007/2008 crash. That single choice was the biggest we made. But aside from that, for ethical and lifestyle reasons, we are frugal. We use old phones and laptops, a 10 year old TV, don't fly, don't own a car and don't have kids. Result is that the house is paid off and we have enough in the bank to walk out on any job and remain funemployed for months (or more). You might think our lifestyle sounds boring, but when you remove stress and worry, you realise that a simple life can be a very happy one. A job you like, gardening, board games, long walks, DIY, cooking... None of it needs to cost much. I think that people who live with worry and stress desperately need to escape on holidays and reward themselves with expensive purchases (new cars/tech/fashion) to keep their spirits up and make it seem like the huge effort is worthwhile.
keep your expenses low is easier said than done. Things are different when you have kids, elder people in the family you have to support, than when you’re young and single. In my case, I wanna buy a modest two bedroom apartment that I can afford to pay the mortgage. My family wants to buy a house with a garden.
One of my family members’ 12 year old son suddenly developed a health issue. His dad is worth at least 3M, and was looking to retire in his 40s. But the medical bills are insane, he can’t retire anytime soon, as most of the bills (tens of thousands a month) are being paid by the good insurance his employer gives him.
I have always spent much less than what I make (I don’t even have a bed, I happily sleep on the floor on a sleeping bag). But I also haven’t gotten any raise the last few years, while my rent (for the same apartment) has gone up 20% in the last 4 years. So has my other basic expense like phone bill (same phone, same carrier, same plan), internet etc.
There is a reason people spend long hours working because the alternative is worse.
The most sensible thing to do while one is young is to live frugally, but also earn as much as you can and save.
I live in Europe, and honestly, medical bills are not a concern. My sister had terminal cancer and through the entire horrible process, the medical bills were zero. That's not because she had health insurance either. It just didn't cost anything, apart from a few doctor visits (which we pay for). Once she was assigned a specialist at the hospital, everything from that point was free, including multiple hospital stays, an ambulance trip, drugs, multiple life-saving procedures (collapsed lung, blood clots, all the stuff that happens near the end with terminal cancer). It's completely unfair that anyone would be bankrupted over illness, and that's the reason I would never move to the US.
I mean it sounds comfortable, and minimally stressful, but if it’s not that you can’t have kids, you should start a family. You’re now in such a good position to do it!
Then your life can be chaotic, messy, stressful, and you lose much freedom for many years! But on the plus side you learn to sacrifice everything you’ve done and earned for the good of children who don’t even know how to appreciate it!
We never wanted kids (we're mid 40s, it won't change). We spend time with nephews and nieces, and while it can be fun, we're always very thankful we can return to a calm house with two sleeping dogs and no mess. My wife is even less interested in kids than I am. Lucky it worked out that way, plenty of couples break up over that choice.
Yeah I can respect that. For me it’s more about living for yourself or sacrificing for others. You can choose either whether you have kids or don’t have kids.
Kids just happen to be the easiest way to force yourself to stop living for yourself.
My spouse and I have household income around the median for the area, and through a combination of discipline and good luck have managed to keep expenses very low.
It's not a life of depravation. We take nice vacations and buy the things we want, but we have to be careful not to want things like fancy cars or elaborate remodels. These seem like very unimportant things to forego when you stand to gain freedom from monetary worry.
Family of five, two engineers in Germany (normal engineers salaries there, nothing really big), we live with 1.1 to 1.2 salary.
And we enjoy our life, we rent (luckily not too expensive) and can do what we want. Of course we do not play the traditional "show off your nice stuff" game the society tries to force us into, but for us happiness is time well spent, not accumulated stuff.
I keep my expenses 20% below net income and invest the rest on the stock market. It is a great anti-stress way to live.
Happiness is all about your expectations and who you compare yourself with. I try my best to compare myself with myself 1 year ago instead of random strangers. It makes me focus on what I can actually control (my own actions) instead of things I can’t control (the actions of others).
If you can’t help comparing yourself with your neighbours and feel “poor” where you live then moved to a place where you are “rich” compared with the neighbours. It will do wonders for your happiness.
most people find one of the most high paying jobs they can, then adjust their lifestyle to that income, then if they miss the mark ('lowball offer') they have to keep looking.
lifestyle regression is exceptionally hard for humans, especially if your friends/neighbors don't have to go through the same thing (e.g. there's no war raging in your country).
the best thing to do would be to keep your spend way below your means. this maximizes your options and gives you choice. but who does that?