Be prepared to defend yourself startups. Put on your armor. Some with malice in their hearts will thrust daggers at you. Fight with strength and honor and the crowd will love you.
Win the crowd and you will win your freedom.
To those startups who do not fight with valor? You will be subject to the mob, as was Airbnb. Even the Emperor will not be able to silence the cries for blood!
Investor: Are you ready to do your duty for the internet?
Founder: Yes, investor.
Investor: You will not be funded.
Founder: Which wiser, older startup is to take my place?
Investor: My funding will pass to others, to hold in trust until a better startup is ready to launch once more. The internet is to be innovative and profitable again.
Founder: Investor?
Investor: Yes. My decision disappoints you?
Founder: You wrote to me once, listing the four chief virtues: Novel concept, challenging problems, technical excellence, and forging new streams of revenue. As I read the list, I knew my startup had none of them. But I have other virtues, investor. Group purchasing. That can be a virtue when it temporarily eases the deal fatigue that everyone's experiencing. Social sharing, perhaps not in a way that generates revenue, but... there are many ways to measure value. Mashups copying one site but adding a single tweak from another site, because it's been done before so must be good. But none of my virtues were on your list. Even then it was as if you didn't want me for your investment.
Investor: Oh, Founder. You go too far.
Founder: I search the faces of other apps... for ideas to copy, to make you proud. One seed investment, one small round... where you wrote out a check for more than the $150K I've already received. Would have been like feeding a third world family for a thousand years. What is it in my idea that you hate so much?
Investor: Shh, Founder.
Founder: All I've ever wanted was to be like all the other apps out there.
Investor: [Gets down on his knees] Founder. Your derivative idea of a startup is my failure as an advisor. Come [Gives Founder a hug]
Founder: [Founder hugs Investor and cries] Investor. I would have copied all the apps in the world... if you would only invest in me!
[Founder begins to asphyxiate Investor while they hug, Investor grunts]
Off-topic, but this is the scene that separates Gladiator from your average action flick. I'd also say it's a pretty good spot-on depiction of angry nerd rage.
Commodus was a nerd whose dad wanted a jock son...like Maximus.
Win the crowd and you will win your freedom.
To those startups who do not fight with valor? You will be subject to the mob, as was Airbnb. Even the Emperor will not be able to silence the cries for blood!
Startups... I salute you.
LET THE LAUNCHES BEGIN!