I've had a similar experience. As a late bloomer socially, I attributed my lack of friends to a defect in my person and was depressed about it throughout HS and Uni.
Reading and writing both are very important to me, as I feel like I'm able to convey my thoughts somewhere and also stay in touch with the world.
But the best thing so far has been podcasts. I suspect its because these are real conversations between humans, rather than the scripted conversations of books, movies etc.
I suspect that if I was not fortunate to work in a high income job, I would be forced to be more social (get a roommate, look for satisfaction in companionship etc.). But I actually prefer the solitude to the many issues and drama that comes with relationships and friendships. That can be an all-consuming world, and I've lost my sense of self by being too involved before.
> The toughest situations are on holidays or weekends when I'm walking by restaurants, bars, or houses with private parties full of couples or people who are friends with one another and having a great time.
What helps me with this is to remember that no relationships are as good as they seem from the outside. Perhaps a terrible way to think about these things.
All human societies incentivize partnerships and nudge lonely humans to pair up. I have to wonder how much of this is derived from our recent past. I'm hoping that as the nature of our society evolves, we will be better able to account for everyone's preferences on how to live their life.
>human societies incentivize partnerships and nudge lonely humans to pair up
I think the opposite is true. For economic growth, maximum workforce mobility is preferable. Relationships reduce mobility, since they tie workers to specific locations. Our society has, for hundreds of years, increased the mobility of its workforce both intentionally and unintentionally, and so the average size of social grouping has declined, from the medieval village, to the victorian extended family, to the 20th century nuclear family, to us - atomized individuals.
Ultimately, if earning power is the sole source of human value, then any tradition that either takes a worker away from their job or doesn't allow them to find their maximum productivity role will progressively wither, since the followers of such traditions will be competing for resources against higher-income individuals, who can consequently outbid them.
So this sets up a sliding scale of incentives, that goes all the way down to forcible eviction (if you're choosing social ties over productivity, are you always going to pay rent) or starvation (like generations of farmers, 'starved out' of their land).
Reading and writing both are very important to me, as I feel like I'm able to convey my thoughts somewhere and also stay in touch with the world.
But the best thing so far has been podcasts. I suspect its because these are real conversations between humans, rather than the scripted conversations of books, movies etc.
I suspect that if I was not fortunate to work in a high income job, I would be forced to be more social (get a roommate, look for satisfaction in companionship etc.). But I actually prefer the solitude to the many issues and drama that comes with relationships and friendships. That can be an all-consuming world, and I've lost my sense of self by being too involved before.
> The toughest situations are on holidays or weekends when I'm walking by restaurants, bars, or houses with private parties full of couples or people who are friends with one another and having a great time.
What helps me with this is to remember that no relationships are as good as they seem from the outside. Perhaps a terrible way to think about these things.
All human societies incentivize partnerships and nudge lonely humans to pair up. I have to wonder how much of this is derived from our recent past. I'm hoping that as the nature of our society evolves, we will be better able to account for everyone's preferences on how to live their life.