> Ben X is a 2007 Belgian-Dutch drama film based on the novel Nothing Was All He Said (Dutch: Niets Was Alles Wat Hij Zei) by Nic Balthazar, who also directed the film.[4] The film is about a boy with Asperger syndrome (played by Greg Timmermans) who retreats into the fantasy world of the MMORPG ArchLord to escape bullying. The film's title is a reference to the leet version of the Dutch phrase "(ik) ben niks", meaning "(I) am nothing".
> The novel was inspired by the true story of a boy with autism who committed suicide because of bullying
There is also a Swedish remake (2013):
> Erik Leijonborg adapted the film into a Swedish-language remake, IRL.
[SPOILER]The reason it reminds me of that movie, is because Ben's death is faked to teach his bullies a (life) lesson.[/SPOILER]
Back when I watched it (it hit a spot), I did not play either MMORPGs nor did I know I had autism. Now I know I have autism, and I played MMORPGs.
4.33 what would you gain from everlasting remembrance? Absolutely nothing. So what is left worth living for? This alone: justice in thought, goodness in action, speech that cannot deceive, and a disposition glad of whatever comes, welcoming it as necessary, as familiar, as flowing from the same source and fountain as yourself.
4.48 Mark how fleeting and paltry is the estate of man - yesterday in embryo, tomorrow a mummy or ashes. So for the hairsbreadth of time assigned to thee, live rationally, and part with life cheerfully, as drops the ripe olive, extolling the season that bore it and the tree that matured it.
it diminishes the empathy and care you're willing to provide for others and maybe even worse it puts you into a never-ending rat race that you ultimately can't win, which is the point of most of these quotes. Greed just tends to cause more greed, with no tranquillity in sight.
It's not even a super deep insight or anything but it's still surprising how little attention it gets.
Time to re-read Meditations. I don’t remember any of what I read 5 years ago. On one hand it makes me sad that I’ve forgotten so much wisdom but I’m happy I get to rediscover it now.
I discovered once that humans don't usually remember that which they do not understand. As your understanding grows, so will your memory of it. It may be necessary to re-experience a thing many times before you understand it well enough to remember it.
Seneca also said that "Just as I shall select my ship when I am about to go on a voyage, or my house when I propose to take a residence, so I shall choose my death when I am about to depart from life."
I would advise you to think hard about starting long projects for which the days of work that it requires do not individually seem worth the effort. Not only will you be miserable, but your chances of success will be low. However, I would also caution you not to assume that a long difficult task will not be satisfying day to day when approached with the right frame of mind.
You could not think of them as projects that must be finished, just work on whatever you feel like at the moment. Eventually they may grow to completion. If they don't, then you didn't like to work on them anyway.
(This is excellent advice from someone who has never managed to finish any personal project.)
This! The carpe diem mentality has always had this flaw IMHO. Humans are what they are because they invented ways to deal with the future: being a good sport, a sense of community, trading, etc.
I get frustrated with this attitude which assumes everyone is in a position to do these things.
I've lost many years of my life to physical disability, and pretty well all of my life due to mental problems which mess up my ability to deal with people[0], and without relationships you are nothing.
Reading this feels like someone telling others to "eat, drink and be merry", when those others are have no food or water - but the merry advice-giver has plenty, so what's the problem.
I'd never take away from someone else what I never had and likely never will, but frankly I wish more fortunate people would stop dishing out their insensitive, thoughtless advice.
[0] blah blah poor me with my sob story. Shit happens.
I don't think he's advising people to have some fun while it lasts or something like that. I think this specific quote, out of context, may be read like that, but I think the point is actually to ignore trivialities, such as "eat, drink and be merry" and instead prepare for death by focusing on what is important, like having a clear conscience and living a virtuous life. I think it's virtue that he advises we should not postpone- don't leave being a virtuous person for later, because detah may come at any moment, is my reading.
I don't disbelieve you, but I suggest you try reading it again with an open mind. I think you are unconsciously imposing a stereotype onto those lines.
The long short is "faking their deaths" doesn't mean what we normally think it means. Its more of a therapy tactic for depressed/suicidal people where they get to go through with it. They write goodbye notes, have a funeral, even get put in a coffin for a few hours.
I grew up in a rather small community on the northwestern coast of Norway, home to a lot of small-time fishermen working up in the Arctic.
Just about everyone my age and older still remember when a vessel was lost back in the eighties, initial reports were all hands lost - until suddenly, a week and a half later, the fisherman we'd all mourned for the past days came home, puzzled as to the sensation his appearance made - he and a couple others had been picked up off a liferaft, and Canadian authorities had misspelled his name when notifying their Norwegian counterparts there were survivors after all - so his family had not been notified.
Allegedly, his father's first words upon seeing him was 'F[---] me, did I just die, or is it you who've not died after all?'
Magne is one of the few people I know who've had the pleasure of reading his own obituary.
I also saw a documentary about this, but it was called "A pharaoh to remember". Unfortunately in this one, the fake funeral just made the guy feel worse.
This is actually funny to me because as a child I fondly remember playing “Funeral” as one of our games.
The game consisted of players taking turns lying very still and dead in some kind of coffin or just on the floor. Then everyone else takes turns going up to your dead body and saying last words about what a good friend you were or maybe you were an ass and the world is better off without you or absolutely whatever you wanted to say, sometimes funny and sometimes true. Then maybe you throw some “flower” or something and the next kid takes a turn.
When everybody has spoke their thoughts you’re covered with blankets or pillows or whatever we had and you experience just being dead and buried, until you get bored then you get up and it’s someone else’s turn to die.
I don’t know why we played such a morbid game as kids but there you go. Maybe it’s why I’m so cynical and nihilist as a grown up.
This is fascinating. It reminds me of a line from Hamilton: "I imagine death so much it feels more like a memory". Lin-Manual Miranda has said that was the most auto biographical thing he's ever written and that he thinks his drive and positivity both come from that attitude.
I wonder if there's an easy way to replicate the exercise yourself. Perhaps every month write a letter to be read out at your funeral? One idea I had years ago but never did was to make a short video for my funeral every year where I shared my thoughts, fears and hopes and where I was in life. The idea was I could look back in future and see how far I'd come, but that it would also be useful exercise at the time.
I'm also a big fan of reading out my favourite quotes. If you're not sure what to say for your funeral then try to imagine yourself saying them, what do they say and where would you want them read out? A bit like a funeral speech, but a little more personal.
As part of many meditation process and spiritual practices in Hinduism and Budhism, visualization of your own death is very common. And it is usually called Death Mediation which is designed to teach you the impermanence of the our own existence and true nature of the World.
“ Wie Tausende von seinesgleichen, machte er es aus der Vorstellung, dass ihm zu jeder Stunde der Weg in den Tod offen stehe, nicht bloß ein jugendlich-melancholisches Phantasiespiel, sondern baute sich aus ebendiesem Gedanken einen Trost und eine Stütze.”
Excerpt from “Traktat vom Steppenwolf”[0] by Herman Hesse.
Paraphrasing: Like thousands of his kind, he [der Selbstmörder “he who commuts suicide”] doesn’t just use the idea that the door to his death is open at any time as a youthful and melancholic phantasy, but as consolation and a crutch.
Avoid the use of social media for a month or more and it will have the same effect. Well, not exactly the same effect, but it will feel like you are observing and interacting with the world like a ghost would.
This has been an enjoyable, cathartic thread to read. I really vibe with the "memento mori" concept.
One thing I'll add that I ran across is a short discussion between David Lynch and Harry Dean Stanton discussing life, and "how they want to be remembered"
(SPOILER on bottom of post.)
> Ben X is a 2007 Belgian-Dutch drama film based on the novel Nothing Was All He Said (Dutch: Niets Was Alles Wat Hij Zei) by Nic Balthazar, who also directed the film.[4] The film is about a boy with Asperger syndrome (played by Greg Timmermans) who retreats into the fantasy world of the MMORPG ArchLord to escape bullying. The film's title is a reference to the leet version of the Dutch phrase "(ik) ben niks", meaning "(I) am nothing".
> The novel was inspired by the true story of a boy with autism who committed suicide because of bullying
There is also a Swedish remake (2013):
> Erik Leijonborg adapted the film into a Swedish-language remake, IRL.
[SPOILER]The reason it reminds me of that movie, is because Ben's death is faked to teach his bullies a (life) lesson.[/SPOILER]
Back when I watched it (it hit a spot), I did not play either MMORPGs nor did I know I had autism. Now I know I have autism, and I played MMORPGs.
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ben_X