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Throwaway for privacy.

First of all, props to you for being honest with yourself about your frustration. Many people turn their bad experiences into anger that sits inside and ferments into a dangerous and unhealthy brew. Recognizing what's happening to yourself is an important step in changing yourself and your situation. Saying these kinds of things publicly can often bring ridicule or condemnation, but I think it's important to start by forgiving yourself for feeling this way, because it's natural and not doing so will just make you hate yourself more. The way you feel is understandable, what you do with it is what will define you as a person.

Anyway, I've had some bad experiences with relationships as well and the thing that is helping the most is therapy. I highly recommend it, it is the best money I ever spent and I think of it as an investment in my future, similar to putting money in a 401k.

I don't recommend hookers like a sibling comment did, not for moral reasons but because I don't think it'll solve your problem. I'm also lonely and often just wish I could have sex, and I can relate to what you say about wishing a sex doll could just replace your bed for a real woman. But then I had some opportunities for no-strings-attached sex and learned something about myself : turns out I want intimacy, not just sex. For many of us, sex in our minds represents an emotional connection we crave. And having sex with someone who doesn't care about you feels like shit when what you really need is someone in your life who gives a damn.

But maybe you have to learn that for yourself, and maybe your experience will be different than mine. If you're going to try transactional intimacy, maybe start with something a bit less extreme like lapdances from strippers. You might learn something about yourself. And depending on whether you are, there's less legal risk and certainly less health risk involved.

In any case, I do believe that it's possible to get to a better place. My experience was that therapy worked best, YMMV. Good luck.




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