I've been fortunate that I've been able to see people in a lot of different situations. People who are independently wealthy, people who are struggling 9-5, people who are chronically unemployed, people who are criminals, etc.
People have a set happiness point. Probably genetically set, but that's beyond my pay grade. Whatever the external situation, they'll gravitate towards that natural setting.
It's a very weird thing to watch: the guy who has millions complaining everything sucks, the guy barely making it telling you how great life is, etc.
So yes, life is difficult. But it's difficult for everybody to some degree. It's not life -- it's the people living it.
I always look at this from a slightly different angle. I look at the unhappy millionaire and think that he must have problems that are a major burden on him. It doesn't matter what those problems are or what we as outsiders think of those problems; it's the fact that he's not able to overcome these problems that make him unhappy. The money is irrelevant, unless of course it is the source of his problems. On the other hand, I look at the happy poor guy and think that any problems he has are just not a burden on him. It's not that money doesn't really matter to him; it's that lack of money doesn't put a major burden on him.
I don't think we have a natural setting, I think we all treat difficulties in different ways and sometimes can't deal with the burden, no matter how good the other things in our life may be (including but not limited to having money).
Whatever we tried to make life easy, it'll always seem difficult. Even for the spoiled kid whose Dad is nifty rich; he has some difficulties (like not being able to date with the girl he loves). It may seems stupid for you and that he's not aware of the paradise he's living in, because you are working 9-5 job to survive, because.... but everyone has a problem to deal with. People that doesn't have problems/things to deal with along the day, usually finish by a mental depression (because of the emptiness of their life), which is a more difficult experience.
To a large extent I agree - we each have our unique difficulties because our lives form our personalities and thus form their defects. So in some sense, we all have our difficulties. However, imho most of them are imaginary. We can just let go of our suffering and most of us have rather easy lives compared to the bulk of humanity. We just need to learn to be happy.
Our difficulties often may be imaginary but that doesn't make them any less difficult or easy to let go.
Just because our difficulties may not be as bad as another's or may be easier to overcome does not mean that the burden we feel is any less.
It's about the burden one feels and their own ability to overcome. People have a hard time accepting this and that's why people rarely simpathize with the rich kid.
I don't sympathize much with the rich kid. The poor kid that can't go to school because he has to work to support his family has an actual, real problem. There's no easier way to get me to walk away from a conversation than when trust fund brats start whining about how they didn't get enough affection as a kid. Those difficulties can just be released, whereas abuse survivors and people in poverty have genuine problems - the rich kid just tends to be egocentric and if he realized all people were equal, then he'd have to realize his advantages and how much better he has it and shut his mouth and just deal with the troubles. I hate hearing excuses for weakness.
[Though, at another point in my life, I would have answered 'No' too. For example, after graduating and settling into a job, my life was not difficult at all, and I was enjoying that little break from challenging myself.]
I can't pick either answer, so I'm not voting. I've had a lot of serious life challenges which have made things difficult. But compared to other people with some of the same challenges, I basically skate through life. Things are always either way harder for me than average or way easier, or both at the same time.
When I was whining once about feeling like my life was tragic, a friend who had spent time in prison many years ago for his political activism and been questioned under torture told me "Everyone thinks their life is tragic". Another time when I was whining, this same friend talked about my very healthy son (who has CF but has not been on antibiotics for many years) and said "Smile. You live with a miracle. How can you be sad?"
I have serious financial problems currently, which I fret about a lot. But those debts bought good health for two people with a dread disease for whom good health is supposed to be unavailable at any price. Was it difficult to achieve that? Of course it was. But it was far easier than enduring any of the alternatives.
Prior to December 2009, for about 3 years I found life increasingly difficult.
Maybe it was my working full-time, doing my MBA full-time (please don't hate on the MBA), going through nine months of pregnancy with my wife and transitioning to new dad, dealing with health care bills and unexpected expenses associated with new child, no pay raises because I was working for a startup, etc.
So I had to do something about it. I moved back home immediately after graduating in December 2009. Still earning the same salary (in USD) but living in a developing country, so standard of living is much higher and am loving the flexibility of pacing myself, from a work perspective - while working on side projects (both web and non-web)- living a higher quality life and not feeling like I am on the brink of bankruptcy due to healthcare costs is EXTREMELY liberating.
I spend more time with my wife and my son, and life is generally much better.
Not to mention school is finished so I can truly work on the projects I want to work on.
Yes, I find my life to be insanely difficult. However, if you look around at people you admire, you will generally find that there lives were insanely difficult too. It must have been extremely difficult for Larry and Sergey to grow Google into what it is now- but they did it anyway.
Yes, and I'm glad it is. An easy life would be dull.
Also, it's all relative - the chances are that if you're complaining that your life is oh-so-difficult, there'll be someone nearby who'd envy your life.
And to answer your question with a question... Why are you asking?
Perhaps I should have been more accurate there - I didn't mean envying that specific person's life, but the general lifestyle of a person in that situation.
That said, I have often been that "someone nearby" who envies a friend's/acquaintance's life more - but they've most likely worked a lot harder (is that considered difficult?) for it and deserve it.
You've kicked off a good discussion here... what do you make of the responses so far? 68Y, 37N.
i'm not sure what to make of the response ratio. i definitely find life difficult. for the "no" responses, i wish i could ask a follow up to distinguish those who are being stoic vs those who actually have it easy.
your attitude of "An easy life would be dull" is very productive and has probably been strongly selected for. at the same time, i'd like to point out that evolution does not select for happiness. i wonder how much you really appreciate those difficulties while you're dealing with them, vs. reflecting on them. i think we should be weary of struggling for the sake of surviving.
But I love it the way it is. I love solving it's puzzles. I love trying to take the best out of out.
If it was easier, it wouldn't be that interesting!
However, right now I think that it's not only difficult but short as well. How can I squeeze so much stuff into such a short time??? Once in a while, I find myself depressed that life is sooo short. What is funniest, then I start procrastinating even more and wasting my life even faster!!!
I prefer life difficult. I could make life easy, and not care or try so hard at the things I do. I really could, and I do sometimes to get away for brief periods of time. But I simply enjoy the challenge. Life's more interesting difficult.
I find life mostly very easy and the majority of people in the world mostly very difficult as too many emotions cloud their minds. That would make a Yes, I guess.
hmm, that's weird. The question was: is life difficult and your answer is YES, but you still vote NO , because you are answering to the question, I guess: Do you enjoy life? Life's difficult Buddy, that's the first thing you learn when you are born in africa, the next thing you learn, life's not always fair, and that's the time you understand, you have to figth or die.
People have a set happiness point. Probably genetically set, but that's beyond my pay grade. Whatever the external situation, they'll gravitate towards that natural setting.
It's a very weird thing to watch: the guy who has millions complaining everything sucks, the guy barely making it telling you how great life is, etc.
So yes, life is difficult. But it's difficult for everybody to some degree. It's not life -- it's the people living it.