If you were my sibling, I would probably entertain a discussion similar to the following:
0) I am sorry
1) if you think about cancer like most people, then you are looking death in the face ...
Do so. Let it focus you on what is truly important.
http://paulgraham.com/todo.html
2) define the problem to the greatest degree of specificity possible - this likely means biopsy and pathological analysis and discussion of further workup at an academic medical center or somewhere that genomic sequencing would be possible, if indicated
3) as stated elsewhere - start indicated treatment as soon as you have an answer for #2
4) if cancer is the answer, then two things (depending on the type) the outcomes may be better than you think, however, find a second oncologist - the running joke is that oncologists keep giving chemo after their patients are dead - find another experienced voice (not neccessarily an expert in YOUR cancer type) who seems comfortable with hospice as a possibility -- not all are -- a life well lived and fighting tooth and nail to the bitter end are not neccessarily the same thing.
5) get all of the insurance you can asap - don't worthy about the premiums
0) I am sorry
1) if you think about cancer like most people, then you are looking death in the face ... Do so. Let it focus you on what is truly important. http://paulgraham.com/todo.html
2) define the problem to the greatest degree of specificity possible - this likely means biopsy and pathological analysis and discussion of further workup at an academic medical center or somewhere that genomic sequencing would be possible, if indicated
3) as stated elsewhere - start indicated treatment as soon as you have an answer for #2
4) if cancer is the answer, then two things (depending on the type) the outcomes may be better than you think, however, find a second oncologist - the running joke is that oncologists keep giving chemo after their patients are dead - find another experienced voice (not neccessarily an expert in YOUR cancer type) who seems comfortable with hospice as a possibility -- not all are -- a life well lived and fighting tooth and nail to the bitter end are not neccessarily the same thing.
5) get all of the insurance you can asap - don't worthy about the premiums