Frustrated and wanting to improve your skills -- fine.
Hate yourself -- hmm, not good.
Everyone struggles and it's very hard. Looking in the mirror and figuring out what you can do better, not being satisfied with what you've achieved, I'm all for that. It's how we grow. But you cannot allow your assessment of yourself on a single dimension to become your entire assessment of your entire worth. I'm certainly not saying we're all special flowers, and our professional is hugely important. But it isn't all we are, and those skills aren't static anyway.
Also: If you want feedback, you can do things to improve your chances of getting it. Be incredibly positive in your responses -- "thanks for the opportunity!" People are obviously reluctant to talk with someone they've rejected, so signalling that you won't make this hard for them can help. If you have guesses at the problem, or suspicions you'd like to rule out, suggest them. Statements like "I think I need to build up Z" or "I worry that I come across as Y" might give you useful yes / no answers, if they are set up properly.
Think also about informational interviews as a means for seeking out fit. If you're just having coffee with someone, about what they look for and how people succeed, they are much more likely to be brutally honest than they are after rejecting you. If I'm having coffee, I can politely tell you why your resume or body of work look off, because I think that's helping you.
Hate yourself -- hmm, not good.
Everyone struggles and it's very hard. Looking in the mirror and figuring out what you can do better, not being satisfied with what you've achieved, I'm all for that. It's how we grow. But you cannot allow your assessment of yourself on a single dimension to become your entire assessment of your entire worth. I'm certainly not saying we're all special flowers, and our professional is hugely important. But it isn't all we are, and those skills aren't static anyway.
Also: If you want feedback, you can do things to improve your chances of getting it. Be incredibly positive in your responses -- "thanks for the opportunity!" People are obviously reluctant to talk with someone they've rejected, so signalling that you won't make this hard for them can help. If you have guesses at the problem, or suspicions you'd like to rule out, suggest them. Statements like "I think I need to build up Z" or "I worry that I come across as Y" might give you useful yes / no answers, if they are set up properly.
Think also about informational interviews as a means for seeking out fit. If you're just having coffee with someone, about what they look for and how people succeed, they are much more likely to be brutally honest than they are after rejecting you. If I'm having coffee, I can politely tell you why your resume or body of work look off, because I think that's helping you.