I mean no disrespect, so I will say this to the general reader, and not to you directly.
This comment and its parent are incredibly disheartening, given that I assume the people writing them are of above average intelligence and likely have a very creative bent - people on the top end of "ideally educated" in some of the categories the article lists.
I would forward this: If you find yourself both agreeing with the comments, but often marginalized or ostracized in ways you do not enjoy, (and only you can know this for sure, but we've all been there) it isn't 'other people' that have the issues, it is you. You are lacking in the skills mentioned in #4, #5 and possibly #7. You may think this doesn't matter, but I'd put forward that you are missing a large part of a fulfilling life experience without them.
There is a fine line between sharing every possible interest with every possible person and completely shutting yourself off to new viewpoints, ideas and experiences simply because they aren't your preferred topics. You will learn from unexpected sources, because you yourself are changing, each and everyday. I would encourage everyone to take some of their precious time and converse with people that aren't simply mirrors to your own innate desires.
It won't matter a lick to me, but it most certainly will help you grow and learn.
You, and several others in this thread, seem to be dead set on framing everyone who does not go out of their way to converse with people at all opportunities about things they do not have an interest in as people who lack social skills and are not open to new ideas as if they live in a physical bubble.
We all interact with people that do not hold our beliefs every day. We actually do not need to go out of our way to associate with them, mainly because we all have to go to work. In fact, people in general have to work at making sure everyone around them thinks exactly the same way and most can not do that. We basically all have to talk to people about shit we don't care about all day.
It's called polite conversation and it isn't anything I care to engage in in my limited free time, which is of course limited by the aforementioned work where I'm forced to interact with people.
> I assume the people writing them are of above average intelligence and likely have a very creative bent
If you did actually believe this, you would have taken what has been said as, at least, another viewpoint. You didn't, you proceeded to say those holding this view are missing parts of life and proceeded to imply they were immature needed to grow as people.
I would consider both positions more 'attitudes' than well-formed opinions on how one should act. You've been accused of having a 'bad attitude,' which I think is fair, but it ignores where you're coming from. You may be relying on this attitude to counterbalance a history of fruitless attempts at relating to people with seemingly little to offer. I bet you feel emancipated from worrying about doing something you don't actually feel inclined to do. That's fine, but just note that you may, later in life, find that people who are different from you might have a lot to offer. Or you may not. You can't make a definitive statement about this sort of thing.
To give an example from my life, a few years ago I realized I had become completely out of touch with "mainstream America," so I decided to make a project out of discovering why so many people live such apparently bland lives, watched so many television shows, liked fast-food chains, etc. Since then I've learned to relish conversations with people who seem to have nothing to offer me. I'll ask them probing questions and try to expand my own mental framework to incorporate a reality where their answers make sense.
Turns out a lot of people who hold positions of great responsibility, such as entrepreneurs, executives, and politicians, live quite boring lives by my standards, and I learned through this inquiry that there's a very good reason for this. Obviously this is a lossy generalization, but it seems to me that in many cases, because they are so burdened with risk in their work lives, they need to counterbalance this with total security and banality in their personal lives. And then others just see no reason to challenge themselves. C'est la vie!
On the flip side, I've also, like you, learned not to spend too much time with people who don't challenge me. Sometimes that means making difficult decisions, and sometimes it means maintaining a sour attitude temporarily. We all have our own energetic-emotional phase-space to navigate.
Just because I find many people uninteresting does not make me a broken person lacking in basic skills. I possess the skills discussed in spades. Spare me the insults, if you please.
What I've found is that taking your advice does not lead to the results you anticipate. It's really that simple. Upon experimentation, your hypothesis goes from "most certainly" producing positive results to "almost certainly not". Your expectations and reality are disjoint and you assert that the fault lies with me.
If I may return the favor and dispense unwanted advice, might I suggest some empathy? Take us at our word when we say that we've tried what you advocate and it hasn't produced what you say it will. Consider how this makes us feel and why we would choose to not continue to throw good money after bad (so to speak).
And hey! Maybe don't look to marginalize people because they are different from you. That'd be nice. We might actually consider taking you seriously once more.
You certainly have a very passionate view from a very different perspective than mine.
As I said, I'm not indending disrespect, but I won't pretend that I can in any way understand what motivates you aside from the reasons I put forward. Sorry if that angers you, but that's just where I stand. We'll have to agree to disagree.
> Upon experimentation, your hypothesis goes from "most certainly" producing positive results to "almost certainly not". Your expectations and reality are disjoint and you assert that the fault lies with me.
Well, the simple reason I suggest such a thing is that, assuming you are varying people, situations, and topics, it is the only variable that remains constant throughout. While you may not agree with how I see things, perhaps you can at least understand why.
Rest assured, i can only have empathy for you if I view your passionate reaction to the topic from my position. It seems to be a very negative place. I don't wish you any ill will; simply trying to do the very thing I'm suggesting to everyone else.
Thanks for the conversation, particularly if you found it difficult.
> Well, the simple reason I suggest such a thing is that, assuming you are varying people, situations, and topics, it is the only variable that remains constant throughout. While you may not agree with how I see things, perhaps you can at least understand why.
And that's fine. You're not wrong. Your perspective is just incomplete. You erred in assuming that new experiences and ideas can come only from a particular set of sources.
There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio.
This comment and its parent are incredibly disheartening, given that I assume the people writing them are of above average intelligence and likely have a very creative bent - people on the top end of "ideally educated" in some of the categories the article lists.
I would forward this: If you find yourself both agreeing with the comments, but often marginalized or ostracized in ways you do not enjoy, (and only you can know this for sure, but we've all been there) it isn't 'other people' that have the issues, it is you. You are lacking in the skills mentioned in #4, #5 and possibly #7. You may think this doesn't matter, but I'd put forward that you are missing a large part of a fulfilling life experience without them.
There is a fine line between sharing every possible interest with every possible person and completely shutting yourself off to new viewpoints, ideas and experiences simply because they aren't your preferred topics. You will learn from unexpected sources, because you yourself are changing, each and everyday. I would encourage everyone to take some of their precious time and converse with people that aren't simply mirrors to your own innate desires.
It won't matter a lick to me, but it most certainly will help you grow and learn.