I realize you're in the big brother department and would like to protect her. But allow me to ask: would she be any less in need of your protection if she were plain-looking? or homely?
Children are incredibly bright. If she's pretty, she already knows. And I'd be willing to wager that she's already leveraging that knowledge when it suits her.
If you try to prepare her for it, all you're really doing is letting her know how important you think it is. And if she looks up to you, that will reflect on how she values it as a part of her identity. Which I feel is far more risky than calling her 'smart'. Because 'pretty' is transient.
I realize you're in the big brother department and would like to protect her. But allow me to ask: would she be any less in need of your protection if she were [very]* plain-looking? or homely?*
No, but a helpful response might be more straightforward and wouldn't be helpful until well into adolescence.
You're probably right all around, but family isn't the only influence, and depending on the family, friends are a greater influence on a person. Junior high and high schools have weird social hierarchy that frequently stresses physical appearance. Some girls seem to have a need for male approval. I just want her feel no need for that. And there probably isn't anything I can do better than spending time with her. For some girls, with different families, I doubt this is the case.
And I absolutely agree that it is a risky proposition and probably not worth playing.
Just praise her for her non-physical qualities, so that that when the twisted high-school value system kicks in, she'll at least be aware of an alternative value system.
I realize you're in the big brother department and would like to protect her. But allow me to ask: would she be any less in need of your protection if she were plain-looking? or homely?
Children are incredibly bright. If she's pretty, she already knows. And I'd be willing to wager that she's already leveraging that knowledge when it suits her.
If you try to prepare her for it, all you're really doing is letting her know how important you think it is. And if she looks up to you, that will reflect on how she values it as a part of her identity. Which I feel is far more risky than calling her 'smart'. Because 'pretty' is transient.