I don't have time to read it right now, but I'm told that I'm a decent writer when it comes down to it.
The only thing I'll say right now is you should probably reword your opening statement:
"The objective of this study is to objectively evaluate ..."
Maybe go with something along the lines of,
"The intent of this study is to objectively evaluate ..."
Or, maybe even something like this,
"The objective of this study is to give an unbiased evaluation of ...".
Basically, what you have right now just doesn't flow correctly, and using the words objective and objectively in one sentence might actually be repetitive. I know they have different meanings, but in this case maybe try whipping out the ol' Thesaurus for some ideas!
Hope this helps, I'll be reading this later today!
Doh... and very true. Typically when I have the content 90%+ set I turn it over to my wife who does free-lance copy-editing, where this stuff gets picked up. Obviously I haven't done that yet!
The final version should be much more grammatically correct and clear. My goal today was to see what people thought about the general content.
I don't have time to read it right now, but I'm told that I'm a decent writer when it comes down to it.
The only thing I'll say right now is you should probably reword your opening statement:
"The objective of this study is to objectively evaluate ..."
Maybe go with something along the lines of,
"The intent of this study is to objectively evaluate ..."
Or, maybe even something like this,
"The objective of this study is to give an unbiased evaluation of ...".
Basically, what you have right now just doesn't flow correctly, and using the words objective and objectively in one sentence might actually be repetitive. I know they have different meanings, but in this case maybe try whipping out the ol' Thesaurus for some ideas!
Hope this helps, I'll be reading this later today!