On: The worst year of my life

[sillysaurus3]

Somehow, the vast majority of our children manage to come out of them more or less intact.

Except the ones who kill themsleves. Or the ones who are fundamentally changed for the rest of their lives. Or the ones who grow a hatred and distrust for the people in charge who did nothing to protect them. Or...

[amalcon → sillysaurus3]

Sure, I don't mean to imply that bullying does no damage. Quite the opposite, in fact. The fact that anyone can experience bullying, survive, and go on to be a productive adult is impressive. The fact that most do is downright incredible, and were there not so much evidence I would not have believed it possible.

This does nothing to lessen the tragedy of those who are not so lucky.

[ishansharma → amalcon]

The fact that anyone can experience bullying, survive, and go on to be a productive adult is impressive. The fact that most do is downright incredible

It is not. I know lots of people who were hampered for life because of bullying. I had two factors in my favor:

1. I was already in mid teens when bullying started, and knew that I could endure it.

2. Being a smart kid, I had support of teachers. So, I ended up focusing more on studies rather than interacting with classmates.

I know quite a few people who were bullied and basically wrapped themselves in a cocoon and missed learning important skills (communication, social)

[sillysaurus3 → amalcon]

The fact that anyone can experience bullying, survive, and go on to be a productive adult is impressive.

My point is that many don't. Perhaps most. Your comment serves as "comfort food" for those who would like to ignore the problem: "It's good that most children are strong! And it's a pity that some aren't." But most aren't. People who can be changed so fundamentally for the rest of their lives aren't strong people.

[amalcon → sillysaurus3]

If people take from my comment that we should ignore the problem, they have no ability to consider the basic morality.

We are psychologically torturing a large number of children. That burden is on us. We create the situation where bullying is possible, and refuse to address that consequence in an effective manner. We refuse to even give children or their parents an effective tool to address it on an individual level. This makes me sick, and it should make you sick, too.

Anyone would be fundamentally changed for life by the level of psychological torture we inflict on our children. It requires significant strength just to not develop a serious addiction, run away, or commit suicide -- strength I don't see in most adults I know.

[vezzy-fnord → sillysaurus3]

Or the ones who grow a hatred and distrust for the people in charge who did nothing to protect them.

Sounds like that one is inevitable, no matter where you are.

[Pinatubo → sillysaurus3]

Your "except" doesn't actually contradict what you're responding to.

[nodelessness → Pinatubo]

May be that wasn't his intention.