One thing one has to learn in an intercultural relationship is how culturally defined abuse actually is. Additionally one has to understand that far from what we like to think, patterns in interpersonal relationships are more cybernetic in nature (i.e. arising from feedback systems) than anything else and when you cross cultural barriers it takes a lot of work and effort to make things work.
Was it dysfunctional? Absolutely. Is that a good idea to break up the family where there are three kids and separate everyone by the diameter of the planet? Not so much.
What I can also say though is that for all the problems I have learned so much I could not have learned otherwise by being willing to work on understanding a perspective of another culture. The cost has been great but the rewards have as well.
Was it dysfunctional? Absolutely. Is that a good idea to break up the family where there are three kids and separate everyone by the diameter of the planet? Not so much.
What I can also say though is that for all the problems I have learned so much I could not have learned otherwise by being willing to work on understanding a perspective of another culture. The cost has been great but the rewards have as well.