I don't think that's really true. My dad was a househusband from about a year after I was born until his death. My mom grumbled about it once or twice, but she stuck with him until then, and I always got the feeling she didn't care all that much about the money.
What does seem to be non-negotiable is self-respect; I don't know anyone who can respect or care about someone who doesn't respect themselves. And as a man in contemporary American society, you get a lot of messages that you're worthless if you don't have a job. You don't have to buy into those messages, though.
I've also found that there's a high degree of selection bias in what spouses care about. If you always end up in relationships where people care about "bringing home the bacon", it's probably because you care about bringing home the bacon, and people tend to attract like-minded partners. There are many, many women who don't care about this.
What does seem to be non-negotiable is self-respect; I don't know anyone who can respect or care about someone who doesn't respect themselves. And as a man in contemporary American society, you get a lot of messages that you're worthless if you don't have a job. You don't have to buy into those messages, though.
I've also found that there's a high degree of selection bias in what spouses care about. If you always end up in relationships where people care about "bringing home the bacon", it's probably because you care about bringing home the bacon, and people tend to attract like-minded partners. There are many, many women who don't care about this.