"Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more
significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests,
but also to the interests of others" - Philippians 2:3-4
Well, the post pointed the obvious, which is not an easy thing to do. Networking meetings are actually a good place to know investors more than other entrepreneurs.
I have been to some of them and I honestly can't remember more than 5 names that interested me. On the other hand, talking to the people who was there to put their money on random projects is a much more meaningful chat.
Personally, whenever someone asks me recommendations to fill a vacant position on a company I don't bet on 99% of the people I know. The other 1%, those who I know are genuinely good, I tend to keep in contact, even if its to drink a beer after work, just to know what's up with them and what's on their minds lately. That's called making friends.
Funny, when I saw the title, that was my first thought.
But the deeper, better first question is "What are you working on?" Give them a chance to make their elevator pitch, then start asking questions. There's a good chance the "How can I help you?" can turn into "I think I could help you with ${PROBLEM}..."
But to get there, you need to figure out what their pain points are, and what you can actually do about them. This is no different than figuring out your own customers, really.
And the step beyond this is to actually do something that really helps them. Because if you can truly help someone, you'll make a lasting impression, something that they will want to pay back, with interest.
Hi beat. You are probably right and this is NOT a good FIRST question. BUT... it is a great question (that is seldomly asked) for later in the conversation. And of course you should be able/willing to follow through. (also see my other answer here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=6224784)
It's certainly a useful question. But a more focused offer of help on a specific issue seems to be a more useful approach, one that moves the conversation forward rather than stopping it in its tracks.
If someone asked me that question cold when I first met them, I'd probably blink, and then ask if they have about $500,000 they'd like to invest for a seed round. Then I'd go right into my elevator pitch and see if I could get a genuinely useful level of interest and potential help.
Here's what's bugging me about this approach, I think... it's about initiative (in the gaming sense, not the motivation sense) and control over the conversation. A straight-up "How can I help you?" from a stranger, without context, throws the conversational balance off severely. My first thought would be either "Yeah, right", or "What's the catch?" I certainly don't give open-ended help to people, and I don't expect them to do it for me. Heck, I don't give my wife or children open-ended help! Generosity and paying forward are virtues, but failure to establish boundaries is not.
Keep the end goal in mind - a mutually beneficial business exchange, and the groundwork for future exchanges. Questions are just a means to this end. Laying groundwork is a matter of learning trust, boundaries, and capabilities. When seeking help, we should try to understand what someone can do for us, what they will do for us, how likely they are to do it, and what their expectations are in return. So the conversation should be about groundwork.
And keep in mind that simply asking them what they're working on is a favor, at the bootstrapping level. It gives them a chance to make (and refine) their pitch, and talk about the thing they really, really love.
Hey Jon. Thanks for reading the article & posting a comment. Interesting question.
I haven't and I feel that it could get a bit more akward, if you haven't established some sort of connection first.
Another reason against it might be that if the other person blanks out, you don't know enough about him to fill the void. In the example I've given with Matthew, when he blanked I knew enough about him and his endeavour (writing a book) to come up with a few ideas how he could do research for his book.
On the other hand, asking this upfront sets the tone for the entire meeting. That is also a great benefit.
Yes, I have. A few months ago in a meet up in Europe. I didn't know anyone and I thought that it could be a nice way to break the ice as this is the way I naturally behave, I mean offering to help people out.
What I've got as feedback went from weird looks to passive-aggressive responses. I was as disappointed as I was shocked. Why were these people reacting so rudely to an honest selfless offer?
A few hours later hanging out with totally different people at another pub I've got way better output out of this behavior.
My conclusion was that in this business people are so used to harsh conditions that they aren't even able to acknowledge that something good is being given out of nowhere.
Anyhow just don't. Or, at least do what the OP did, talk to the person around an hour before making the offer. Because anything less than that is a guaranteed way to get weird responses.
I've had people try it on me. It was incredibly awkward. It did come off as arrogant. And the first thing it made me wonder is 'wtf? who are you?'
I don't know if it was tone, timing or something else, but I don't think it should be a cold opener. There needs to be some small talk beforehand, a decent understanding of what someone is doing.
If you and I talked and I just told you what I'm working on and you actually seem engaged, interested and knowledgeable then asking 'Is there something I can do to help you?' might be a natural and genuine statement.
Taking advice/help from someone requires some degree of trust, establish a little before trying this imo.
It's useless to ask "how can I help you" unless they already know how you could help them. They can learn that if you first introduce yourself, tell about your life and your business, etc.
From Christoph's post:
> After about an hour of covering topics ranging from places to see around the area to consulting gigs to building a SaaS application, I asked him one very simple question: "How can I help you?"
The question works because before he made it to his interlocutor, he had already told his history. The interlocutor had enough information about him to know what to answer when he made the question.
For some reason, this made me think of George Washington who proscribed to "110 Rules of Civility & Decent Behavior in Company and Conversation." Probably made him a pretty decent networker (and politician). http://www.foundationsmag.com/civility.html
