Hacker News new | past | comments | ask | show | jobs | submit login
Ask YC: I have a serious GF, but still want to apply. Good Idea?
23 points by spoiledtechie on March 17, 2009 | hide | past | favorite | 64 comments
Hey all,

I have a serious Girl friend of 5 years and a full time job to take care of all my student loans. $80,000.00 worth of loans. I live over in Florida and wonder do you think if I have a great idea, that I should do this.

I would either have to keep my girl back at home for the summer or take her and our dogs with me.

Do you think its viable to do so? To live on the $5,000.00 for the summer?




you shouldn't be asking HN about this, you should be asking your GF about this.


asked, shes okay if it can be afforded..... Don't know that I can.

If I were to quit, does that mean that I will be unemployed or do I receive a check like employment from YC?


No - You'd be self-employed, with no income.... Yeah - I know - it's a distinction that I wonder about every day.

YC hand out a cheque when you accept their offer. That's it until you secure other funding or revenue.

Doing a startup is a (significant) lifestyle choice. So if your GF is on board with that, and is happy a part of it, then just apply. If not, then you've got some bigger issues to wrestle with.


Just apply! If you get accepted go to your friends and family and ask if they can provide a security blanket in case nothing becomes of your work at YC. That would allow you to find employment if need be!

If you do get accepted stretch the resources as far as possible! Find roommates and eat like a poor man(do not go out to eat)!


Honestly, apply, and make the decision when you get an interview.


Based on your situation, I'd say no.

Why don't you do your startup now from home, grow it a little and see if its a viable model, and then apply when you start getting some traction?

Because right now you are talking about uprooting your whole life over a 1-2% chance of success.


I guess it depends on how you define "success", but I think the chances of the YC startups getting more out of it than they put in is higher than 1-2%. Even if they end up folding the startup, just having been accepted into YC and having the network probably changes your career path significantly.


This is what I have been doing, but gosh sometimes I can't get a little help from my friends.


Well the financial math is simple, no $5k is not enough for you both.

The relationship math is simple as well. After five years of dating, you're probably getting to the point where you are going to get married or break up. If you think you are going to get married, why would you uproot your life with a full time job when you are in debt?

YCombinator is not a silver bullet to start up success. Work on something from home in your spare time. Find out more about your talent for this type of thing.


Thank you.


Apply and decide after you've been accepted.


If you're accepted via phone you have to respond right there. If he puts this decision off until then, that gives him only 30 seconds to decide. I think it's better to think this through beforehand.


Yea, but he has to at least get to the interview first. If he isn't invited to that process then there's nothing to even consider. Once invited to an interview, its a good time to start considering any major decisions (and you will have a few weeks). Up until that point, theres nothing to lose but a free weekend in Cali.


You're right in the sense that there's nothing to lose. But if he does get accepted to the interview and decide not to do it, he took the spot from another startup that would probably have accepted.


didn't know its like that.


Startups are hard on partners, but if its serious and this is something important to you then you should apply.

Trial by fire :D

I love my wife, and I know she loves me too. And part of the reason I know that is because I was broke as hell on the second iteration of my first startup when we met. I crashed at her apartment and ate her food while I built my prototype.

She put up with it, she must love me :)


My girl is doing the same to me now. Living off me while she attends school.


Well, then do the math. A formal budget, something most 20 somethings have never done. Figure out what sacrifices you've got to make. Then sell the team on them.

Add a fudge factor, cause shit happens.

An exercise in startup leadership :D


If your idea truly is great you have absolutely nothing to lose by applying. If your idea is accepted you still have the option of declining the funding, requirements to move, etc... But if your idea is accepted then it obviously has some merit and you'd at least have the YC stamp of approval and a slightly better chance of succeeding than those who didn't get in.

At the end of the day, do what makes sense to you and your values. Good luck!


Thank you.


It's simple math.

If you come to YC for the Summer will you:

a) finish up with a working product ready to take to the next level

b) at that point then be able to afford to move home or ship the GF out

c) still be with the GF in the Autumn should you not go to YC

d) are unable to get the project off the ground from where you are

Yes? Then try it :)

(err and also: have you asked what the GF thinks? that seems the first port of call... :))


My girl will undoubtedly stay with me.

But managing two households at once on $5,000.00 that YC offers is hard work. I would be eating ramen all the way for the entire summer.

Whats the percent chance that your actually profitable after 3 months worth of work.


You'll likely be eating ramen (and vietnamese sandwiches and dimsum) all the way for the entire summer no matter what. With an additional mouth to feed, you have a lot less runway.

She has to focus on getting optimal grades, you have to focus on your startup -- maybe hyperfocusing on separate challenges and then re-uniting will be best for the relationship in the end?


TBH fairly small - but there is a difference between profitable and being able to get hold of some capital (beyond the seed funding of YC). You might well get to that stage (no - you should get to that stage :D).

Is there any reasons the GF cant come to the bay with you?

EDIT: cheeky but does the GF have any hacker skills to become a cofounder?


I think the idea above of asking your GF to help could be a good one. Maybe she has hacker skills. Maybe she has other skills which could really help your startup - business, sales, visual design. Any and all of these could really give you a boost.


Working together could also ruin the relationship, as the qualities needed for a good co-founder are different than one for a good GF.


There have been some awesome husband/wife start-ups, too, though.


I wish she had the hacker skills. But she is still in school which makes it EXTREMELY DIFFICULT.


Having a look at your responses throughout this thread it seems like you're looking for reasons to go rather than reasons not too.

Starting a startup is a huge commitment, potentially a lifelong one depending on your idea.

If you're even slightly unsure (which you seem to be), you should perhaps maybe think about it some more, or start it up from where you are.

I'm not trying to make you depressed or anything mate, but when things aren't going according to plan and everything goes wrong (as things can do with startups) you still have to be willing to give it 110%

So yeah, read some of the advice in this thread but really sit down, have a LONG HARD think about it. If you're prepared to make sacrifices (which there will inevitably be, it's your choice what they will be though) - then make a decision.


thanks. Agreed.


Wait until she's out of school? I found that my girlfriend's world view changed considerably when she graduated and had to get a job. She was much more understanding after that.


Shes in one of those majors that will keep her in school for another 5 years. Thinking like 7 or 8 years total of schooling....


What major requires 7-8 years of undergrad schooling? Even with a masters, its hard to imagine 8 years.


Man Up. (at the risk of being downvoted).


I wish this phrase would die a manly death.


I am imagining the words "Man Up" at Thermopylae, hurling a spear at Xerxes.


What does that even mean?


Other interoperable phrases could be

  "Toughen up Tinkerbelle"
  "Grow a pair, son"
  "Who wears the pants in your relationship?"
  "Just do it" (proudly swiped from Nike)


Or, for me, "Put on your big girl panties."


It's the equivalent of 'shut up and get it done.' I partially agree. It's great to think things through, but things have a habit of happening when you are in the act of doing rather than thinking of what to do.


You said your GF is in school right now. If that's so, how will she move with you to SF? She won't be able to go to school (unless the school allows 100% telecommuting or she decides to take a semester off).

Remember that the $5,000 +$5,000n is an investment in YOUR COMPANY, not a paycheck. That money is meant to cover the founder's living expenses during the YC round. I think you will have a hard time using that money to live off of and support your GF.

If your GF can get a job and support herself (either while still going to school or by taking a semester off) I would say go for it. But if the only way is to send money back to FL then you are hurting your chances of succeeding, and I would find another way.


It's one thing to be fresh out of college with no debt and no responsibilities. I could imagine finding a roommate, eating ramen and stretching $5000 for 6 months or more.

However you sound a bit more like me. I'm 30, married, with $60,000 of student loans and a car payment living in Mountain View. In case you don't know what expenses are like out here, let's just say $5000 wouldn't even cover my loan payments + rent for 2 months. You will not find a decent one-bedroom under $1500. You can do better if you cram yourselves into an efficiency or get roommates, but just FYI, I got a 30% raise to move out here and I've never felt poorer. Given your situation, your runway will be shorter than most, but if you are good, that may be the extra drive you need to get something up and fundable in under 3 months. Me? I'm bootstrapping from someplace cheaper when I leave my current startup. I see the YC model as more appropriate for those with no experience, no connections and no responsibilities.

Good luck.


This clears a bit up for me as we are in pretty much the same situation. Thank you. As for your last sentence,

I see the YC model as more appropriate for those with no experience, no connections and no responsibilities.

I see that I have all three....


Thank you.


I wouldn't bank on getting in if you have no co-founder. You should probably worry about finding one of those first.


  g = Girlfriend.find(:all).last
  a = YCapp.create(:term => 'Summer 09', :name => 'spoiledtechie')
  if a.accepted
    g.propose
    self.move('SF')
    g.move('SF') if g.fiancee
  end


g.propose is out of the question (for now).

if a.accepted self.move('SF') g.stay('FL') || g.move('parents') end


Remember the underpants gnomes from South Park? Their plot was simple. 1. Steal underpants, 2. ???, 3. Profit. Most YC people have something similar going on: 1. Come up with great idea, 2. Get YC to fund it, 3. ???, 4. Profit, 5. Get a Girlfriend. You've already jumped to step 5, skip 1-4.


Found the girl early on in life. Way before college. lol. Now stuck with the girl. Love her to bits though so can't let go and move without her.


I think for you the best solution would be to keep your day job and work nights/weekends on your startup. With your big financial liabilities and GF that has to stay in school in FL you can't make it work on a YC check and uproot to silicon valley...

If you really wanna be in the silicon valley tech scene -- it's a good place to network about your startup idea -- start applying for jobs out there. You'll make way more money than you're making now and you can still work on your idea nights/weekends. You'll probably find a co-founder and some advisers out there and have a better chance of getting serious funding than you'd have in Florida.


We don't know all your details. You know your life better than we do.

Is she willing to find employment and pay some of the bills if she lives with you? How fast do you have to pay off your loans? Have you looked to see how good a living situation SF affords you? It's an expensive place.

I agree with menloparkbum: Apply either way. If you're accepted, then decide further.


Just to clarify... one founder gets $10,000.00, two founders get $15,000.00, three founders get $20,000.00. It's clearly stated in the FAQ... what hope is there, if you can't even read the terms correctly.


not sure but i think he meant (10k) - (taxes) - (cost of moving to sf from florida)

which is about 5k


yep.


Aren't YC companies expected to stay in the Valley even after the summer is over?


No - but I imagine most do because that is where the investors are :)


just out of interest - do many founders bring their girlfriends with them?


I wonder too. I'm considering applying - still working it out with the cofounder as to our final decision about applying - and (as much as I'd like a girlfriend) I have a boyfriend who'd support me no matter what but can't move because he has a full time job where we are right now. Sorta complicated :(


if you have to ask...


TechStars, (www.techstars.org) pays $6,000 per founder, so that is at least a thousand extra bucks there if you wanted to try that instead. There application deadline is Saturday I think.


Not unless the dogs are willing to share their dog food with you, lol.


Just think of all the girlfriends you'll be able to buy once you become rich and famous in Silicon Valley!


Meaningful girlfriends? You mean zero?


It appears that whoever downvoted me misinterpreted my comment. To expand the implication: you can buy zero meaningful girlfriends.




Guidelines | FAQ | Lists | API | Security | Legal | Apply to YC | Contact

Search: