I find the power imbalance in these situations to be very uncomfortable -- half the time in the back of my mind I'm thinking to myself this waitress has a big smile on her face because ultimately all she wants is a nice tip; the smiley front is unauthentic. Just please give the servers and waiters a proper salary and let me go on with my day.
The very idea of tipping to me is absurd and silly. What constitutes that a service be tipped anyway? Doesn't the guy who spends 30 minutes explaining to me how I should install my bathroom tiles at Home Depot deserve a tip? Or the cooks in the backhouse -- who, arguably, have much difficult work to do than servers/waiters? The immigrant dishwashers who never even get a chance to have their common dignity affirmed at any step of the way -- because they're not palatable enough in their looks and appearances to be seen by a customer? Or the Sears cashier clerk who does me the favour of looking in the back warehouse to see if the shoes I'm looking for are really not in stock -- and then calls other stores to see if they have them, when he didn't have to do any of that?
Just give them a nice salary. Don't try to guilt-trip me by bringing up how they're paid "below minimum wage".
And, to put a startup spin on my post: there should be a site that rates the ethical practices of stores/restaurants. Does the restaurant pay its dishwashers a respectable salary? If yes, I will be okay and willing to pay a little extra. If they don't: I'll happily never do business there again.
Even crazier is I've eaten at a number of places where the tips all get evenly distributed among the staff at the end of the night - so what the hell was the point of the tip? As someone who is new to North American culture the whole tipping thing is a nightmare.
As an outsider this is my theory:
The reason is to quote as low as a number as possible to make people feel this is cheap. And one place can't start "doing the right thing" and paying a decent salary because they would be perceived more expensive and they would also upset people who are used to the status quo.
I also find it ridiculous that the sales tax is not included in the price written on the sticker in the stores in the US.
But again, I guess quoting a lower price and charging more when the customer has already made up their mind is better for the business.
Tips exist because they are a way for the customer to give a good server some money directly.
Unless there was a cast-iron legal guarantee that the money from the "automatic" tip goes direct to all low-paid staff (servers and chefs), then I want to be able to give my money to the server direct.
> Tips exist because they are a way for the customer to give a good server some money directly.
That is silly. Why is waiter work so unique that it's one of the very few that requires this kind of payment? If you want to pay money directly, you can do that for cashier clerks at gas stations, clothing stores, auto service men, middlemen of all sorts in business offices, etc. etc. Why not pay them directly too then?
What I'm arguing is that the tradition of tipping is something that should not be. I would be okay with tipping in the most extraordinary of circumstances, where the worker clearly goes out of his way to provide unexpectedly superb service, but it should not be seen as necessary in other normal situations; I don't see a really good reason why it has to be any different from other jobs.
As another commenter in this thread from Sweden pointed out: it works for them. The norm is that waiters are not tipped. It seems to be working okay for them, let it work in America too.
I find the power imbalance in these situations to be very uncomfortable -- half the time in the back of my mind I'm thinking to myself this waitress has a big smile on her face because ultimately all she wants is a nice tip; the smiley front is unauthentic. Just please give the servers and waiters a proper salary and let me go on with my day.
The very idea of tipping to me is absurd and silly. What constitutes that a service be tipped anyway? Doesn't the guy who spends 30 minutes explaining to me how I should install my bathroom tiles at Home Depot deserve a tip? Or the cooks in the backhouse -- who, arguably, have much difficult work to do than servers/waiters? The immigrant dishwashers who never even get a chance to have their common dignity affirmed at any step of the way -- because they're not palatable enough in their looks and appearances to be seen by a customer? Or the Sears cashier clerk who does me the favour of looking in the back warehouse to see if the shoes I'm looking for are really not in stock -- and then calls other stores to see if they have them, when he didn't have to do any of that?
Just give them a nice salary. Don't try to guilt-trip me by bringing up how they're paid "below minimum wage".
And, to put a startup spin on my post: there should be a site that rates the ethical practices of stores/restaurants. Does the restaurant pay its dishwashers a respectable salary? If yes, I will be okay and willing to pay a little extra. If they don't: I'll happily never do business there again.