In a comment below you state NOBODY KNEW THESE DETAILS AT THE TIME
That is exactly why judgement should have been deferred. In the face of uncertainty, given the situation, withholding comment or querying neutrally would have been optimal. That is clear with foresight, not just obvious from hindsight. I did not see that thread the first time but it is the tone and not the words that would be so damaging.
Man up. Very likely he had already internalized the blame for his current state. Such statements would be seen only as confirmations of his weakness and foolishness. Criticisms would be isolating and over-weighted . For someone so prodigious it would have been especially difficult.
The risk from destabilizing a person genuinely going through very difficult external and or internal moments, even if they proportion fewer, far outcosts the risk of building a careless individual's misplaced ego by giving them attention in the form of neutral to supportive questions. Yes it will take a bit more effort to not follow all "I made a mistake" with "man up and learn from it" but I think we would all be better from it. Especially those at the extreme end where manning up requires prefixing with super.
I dare say I envy those whose paths through life is such that a phrase like that enters an initial treatment of someone facing any adversity. That they have never sensed helplessness so vast, it opens a vortex to the place of lost souls, washing away the vivid colors the manned-up paint with while slowly dimming any ability to answer the on appearance hopeless question of What now? Nothing of course.. ?
If everybody withheld comment until they knew the full story, nobody would post on Hacker News. Hell, people still don't know the full story of the Aaron Swartz court case, and yet you see an awful lot of folks willing to comment with the few tidbits they do know right now.
This is not a generic claim on all to withhold comment pending details. Nothing so general. What I am saying is if someone asks for help, particularly in so public a manner, it would be useful to assume by default that things are more complex than they seem.
There was no suicide note. There was no reason given. The closest thing we have is a suggestion from his family, which caused everyone to instantly jump on one of three different bandwagons getting as many people fired and as many laws changed as possible. We have no idea of gauging whether or not that suggestion is correct, so we all read in to things we THINK suggest the reasons for his suicide.
It's ridiculous how so many people here are claiming "You shouldn't comment unless you know about the situation" when knowing absolutely dick-all about the situation right now.
No we do not, but everyone still needs to decided if and how they will act differently going forward with this new data point regardless of what we do not know.
Jumping to conclusions is bad not changing at all is also bad.
There was his blog. Alas I did not frequent the right part of the internet to have fixed him to mind but those who read his blog should have seen someone who has for sometime struggled with his state.
That is exactly why judgement should have been deferred. In the face of uncertainty, given the situation, withholding comment or querying neutrally would have been optimal. That is clear with foresight, not just obvious from hindsight. I did not see that thread the first time but it is the tone and not the words that would be so damaging.
Man up. Very likely he had already internalized the blame for his current state. Such statements would be seen only as confirmations of his weakness and foolishness. Criticisms would be isolating and over-weighted . For someone so prodigious it would have been especially difficult.
The risk from destabilizing a person genuinely going through very difficult external and or internal moments, even if they proportion fewer, far outcosts the risk of building a careless individual's misplaced ego by giving them attention in the form of neutral to supportive questions. Yes it will take a bit more effort to not follow all "I made a mistake" with "man up and learn from it" but I think we would all be better from it. Especially those at the extreme end where manning up requires prefixing with super.
I dare say I envy those whose paths through life is such that a phrase like that enters an initial treatment of someone facing any adversity. That they have never sensed helplessness so vast, it opens a vortex to the place of lost souls, washing away the vivid colors the manned-up paint with while slowly dimming any ability to answer the on appearance hopeless question of What now? Nothing of course.. ?