Ask HN: Should i give up?

[xdumpx]

Hi hacker people I am a 27 year old guy done computer science engineering from india. My percentage is very low and i have completed it in 5 years instead of 4 and that too in the year 2009! Since then i got no job offers and depression caused me to forget reality and learn no skill. I have got no girlfriend. My childhood too was bad since my dad left me when i was 2. Now my mom has obvious expectations from me. I have nothing left. Have any one got up from such kind of situation or should i just quit! Please help !

[rauar]

Quit ? Never ever.

Use your spare time for building your skills (make sure you learn what your future employer needs). Try to get a foot in the door by any means. What do your former student friends do for their living ? Could they help ?

Good luck.

PS: You need to show commitment. Employers won't employ you because of a bad situation.

[czbond]

So did you like CompSci? If you scores were low, it took you 4 yrs, and you haven't done much with it since - maybe programming isn't what you are passionate about. Is there something else that you like to do when people pose problems to you? (The types of problems you like to solve in life show a passion). Don't give up - everyone gets depressed. If you don't work out, start. If you don't go outside much, start. If you don't talk to people often, start. If you aren't religious or don't meditate - look there. Never give up - I'm convinced that those with the most depressed situations can rebound the highest.

[morjanoff]

First things first. If you feel like crap and are depressed you need to eat better and get more exercise. Even just going for a walk or jog once a day.

The trick to most successful people is they don't wait until they feel like it, they just go and do it because they know its what they need to do.

By exercising you will stimulate some feel good hormones which will help you for the next step. Your perception.

Depression (aside from biochemical issues) is largely due to having a picture you thought reality would be and it not matching your actual reality.

My guess is you thought your life would be a lot easier than it is. And I'm also guessing that many of your decisions have been based on trying to please others, especially your family.

In India, family, technology and spirituality are generally the highest values.

What I want you to do is write a list of at least 100 benefits you have gained from the path you have taken. And then 100 things that are bad about achieving the picture in your mind of how you thought things could have been.

This might be hard to start with but will definitely help you if you give it a go. Most of the time we romanticise a non existent reality by perceiving it to be much better than it is and we ignore the negative sides to it.

You're not alone, we all feel like this at times.

[dynabros]

Scores and percentages don't always matter. Can you code well? If you can - great! If you can't - there are numerous books and online resources to get you going again. Remember not every coder got their education from a college environment!

I'm not 100% familiar with India, but from what I understand the cost of living is low. Can you work as a freelancer for a lower hourly rate until you get on your feet? That may be a good idea.

[orangethirty]

You need to realize that life is going to kick your ass and leave you bleeding on the floor from time time. Your job is to get up as quickly as possible and to keep moving forward. Life is never going to be easy. Never. Not with a degree. Not with money. Nothing makes it easy. Its an a fight right until the end.

Keep your arms up, keep fighting, and keep your eyes on the prize.

[jamesjguthrie]

No way, don't quit. All of us go through depressing times.

We can't tell you exactly what to do as we're all different, but it's obvious you need to change something. You could maybe try and move to a different town/city and get work there or maybe start taking a few classes again and build some software that could help you in your class.

[shail]

Even if you do not end up doing comp. sc., don't leave it like this. Win it and then leave it.

BTW, if you are interested in speaking to someone, you can send me an email and I will share my phone number. I am in India too and probably can help you in small ways. My email id is in my profile.

[onlyup]

Completing it in 5 years rather than 4 just means you have more experience :)

[kombinatorics]

"When the world says, 'Give up,' Hope whispers, 'Try it one more time'."

[nanijoe]

quit and do what instead?