... I darkened and browned my front teeth. I stuffed a shaved down tampon deep into my right nostril and died the tip dark brown – giving my nose an awkward, lopsided, disgusting appearance. I put on a pair of ragged brown pants with holes patched and darned. I wore an old, ragged long sleeve shirt. I donned an old Guatemalan style sarape and toted a bag containing a variety of Guatemalan woven goods. I adjusted my posture so that I appeared a good six inches shorter than my actual height and slowly walked up and down the beach with a pronounced limp, pushing an old single speed bicycle and peddling my wares to tourists and reporters using a broken English with a heavy Spanish accent. On my second day, while peddling small wooden carvings, I nearly sold a dolphin carving to an Associated Press reporter standing at the edge of my dock ...
This HAS TO BE A JOKE. This is an elaborate prank.
Literally every post in this blog is dosed with high-test crazy. From the beginning:
* Jeff however, I truly believe, thinks that I sent the photos to his wife. If I had done so, then I would deserve whatever wrath he chose to mete out. But seriously, it’s not my style. And if his mistaken suspicion is not the reason for his bulldog approach to sniffing out my life then I can’t even guess at what twisted motives move this man.
* Wired asked him to pose shirtless with a shotgun. This apart from all the other shirtless photos of him, and him with young coeds; did Wired stage those? Did Wired also stage McAfee playing Russian Roulette with a loaded trick revolver in front of Josh Davis?
* I laid down the pistol that I keep for protection and, contrary to Josh Davis’ assertion that I said “Motherfuckers”, said nothing and went back inside. I woke Amy, the 17 year old with whom I was living, and calmly told her to get dressed – that the GSU was invading the property.
* The entire "Samantha" post, which reads just like the "secret diary of John McAfee" from Gizmodo, which in turn consists of profiles of the various young Belizeans McAfee has slept with, followed by a few sentences about the paramilitary groups seeking to kill him. (My favorite part of all these bits of writing, including the "Samantha" piece, are the photos, which make it seem like the most important thing McAfee has to convince us of is that these young women are real --- like that makes him seem saner)
* First there was an attempt to charge me with running an antibiotics laboratory without a license. In Belize a special government permit is required to research antibiotics – a law which is common in Third World countries. To date, no such permits have ever been issued. I suspect the large drug conglomerates have much to do with these widespread laws, or perhaps it’s a viewpoint motivated by my latent paranoia. In any case, I didn’t have such a permit. Neither was I researching or producing antibiotics. Antibiotics are taken systemically. I was working on a topical antibacterial spray. It could in no way be classified as an antibiotic. (Here it helps to note that McAfee's original research scientist partner in the antibiotic effort had to flee Belize in fear of McAfee)
* The "Punishment of the Innocent" post where careful mention is made of which people do not drink or do drugs.
* The entire "Watchfulness" post, which posits a shoe-polish-painted John McAfee watching the Belizean paramilitary GSU police digging up the corpses of his dogs, removing their heads, and leaving the bodies. The dogs had been dead too long for an effective autopsy, considering it would be performed in a Third World country with limited access to laboratory resources. What was this all about? Well, John, isn't it clear? ZOMBIE DOGS.
I think it's plausible that he's not crazy and everything on that blog is true. The whole situation is crazy enough that people probably approach it with preconceptions and interpret everything they read in that light.
There does appear to be rampant corruption in the government there. The press does seem interested in hyping the story, especially by portraying McAfee as a wacko. When I read the Jeff Wise story "Secrets, Schemes, and Lots of Guns: Inside John McAfee’s Heart of Darkness" recently, I was struck at how sensationalized it was, especially the part where he strains hard to make 8 shotguns, 2 pistols, and some ammo into "a small armory's worth of firearms", and "Vexingly for the police, all of this was actually legal." McAfee writing that Jeff Wise has some ax to grind, therefore, rings true to me.
I think the Russian Roulette trick involved palming the bullet, and was to make the point that things are not always as they first appear. Of course for anyone who's made up their mind that he's crazy, it's just simply more fodder to reinforce their beliefs.
The "Watchfulness" post does seem over the top, yet even that could be plausible. It's a shame -- the guy has been tried in the press already, so people assume he's crazy and a murderer.
Not only that but anyone worth their salt in pranking would certainly take the time to construct something that at least made it to the level of national media attention. To be able to, eh, how you say "punk" the media.
P.S. No-one at the house, including the staff, know that I am nearby. If the police are reading this, do not randomly round up everyone for harboring a fugitive. Please.
John McAfee is such a master of disguise that even though the most elite police unit in Belize has more or less set up camp at his house solely to find him, he's able to wander around close enough to the house to watch their every move simply by dressing up as a German tourist in a Speedo while hollering "Leck mich um ausch!" at passers-by.
Apparently he was known for laying the bullshit on pretty thick even before he turned into a full-time paranoid tweaker, so I'm inclined to think this whole thing sits at the intersection of "hoax" and "really is written by John McAfee"
I mean, yes. But at the same time would an elite police unit expect someone on the run to do something quite that ridiculous either?
I think another possible explanation is that it is his blog, but with the element of truth carefully dispensed and the element of hyperbole liberally dispensed.
I'm not sure that's more likely than hoax, but it's a possibility I maybe wouldn't eliminate.
This HAS TO BE A JOKE. This is an elaborate prank.