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Almost certainly Both!

Systemic, indoctrinated and even toxic monogamy, perpetuated by people and society at large.

You've got people and relationships that are so harmed by strict heteronormativity and its related monogamy that "men and women can't be friends" and "you can't say that lady's cute because that's cheating" and pornography is adultery.

It's little microaggressions and requirements of conformity that systematize and enforce monogamy in little ways.




It doesn’t matter what system, society will ruin anything it enforces. Everything has pros and cons.

Imagine the same system enforcing poly. You’d have mandatory partner sharing to those in power, all sorts of requirements and gate keeping for who could and could not share, or be part of various cliques, etc.

For sure, anyone pretty or desirable would be expected to be poly and like it or else, etc.

The reality is that system would fly apart even faster than monogamous systems since there is no meaningful way to ‘opt out’ and protect oneself, which is why you don’t see it in any large scale societies.




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