On: The Rise of Malört, an Unexpected Midwest princess

[jboggan]

My friends make a cocktail with Malort, White Monster, and C4 preworkout. They also have a multi-year running gag where they offer me a bottle of fine whiskey or bourbon at a campfire but it has in fact been replaced by Malort. Then, when I am choking and gagging someone else offers me some water to wash away the taste, which is in fact also Malort.

[defen → jboggan]

> Malort, White Monster, and C4 preworkout

What do they call this cocktail? I suggest "Malörtal Kombat".

[twic → defen]

The Grand Malort Seizure?

[alana314 → jboggan]

That's so funny. Water doesn't even wash away the taste anyway

[MisterTea → jboggan]

> My friends make a cocktail with Malort, White Monster, and C4 preworkout.

Fuck me I almost gagged reading that. The rest is just a horror story. That would be the camping trip I return from alone and immediately call a criminal defense lawyer.

[dyauspitr → MisterTea]

Lighten up and live a little. You have to be open to essentially harmless pranks like this or what kind of sterilized life are you living.

[tptacek → jboggan]

There remain jurisdictions in the United States where it is legal to shoot someone for replacing water with Malort.