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Thank you. That is why I said things like typical human brain and about 150.

As I understand it, Napoleon inspired such loyalty in spite of how he treated his people because he could greet everyone by name and ask how their wife Elaine was doing, etc. It made everyone feel he caredabout them personally. I had similar talents when I was younger but never really knew what to do with it as I was a homemaker, but I am familiar firsthand with the types of emotional responses it inspires from people.




My grandfather co-founded an engineering company. One of the things he had to do was sales. His trick was that the first time he visited the company, he'd ask to get a company directory. The second time, he'd review that directory (which in those days typically had pictures), and when he walked in he'd greet everyone by name.

He was a very effective salesman.

(BTW the company still exists, http://cmtengr.com/ is their website. My grandfather was Ray Tilly.)


I was talking to a friend of mine a bit ago; I was saying that I wanted some sort of wearable computer rig to do facial recognition for me; I thought that was one of the things holding me back as a bizdev guy. I'm bad with both faces and names.

My friend told me that he could remember faces well, but that more often than not it contributed to awkwardness when he could remember the other person's name, but the other person couldn't remember his.


My friend told me that he could remember faces well, but that more often than not it contributed to awkwardness when he could remember the other person's name, but the other person couldn't remember his.

I have been told that, in a sales context, this actually helps. It fires off some sort of feeling that you need to make up for the social faux pas.

(I am truly awful at remembering faces and names - so have never had the opportunity to find out myself :-)


Years ago I went on a course that covered all kinds of things related to dealing with people and this issue was one of them.

The awkwardness is easily removed simply by greeting someone by their name and repeating yours without giving them a chance to 'not remember'.

"Greg! Hi! Mike. How's Sarah? Did you find your dog in the end?"


My oldest son and ex husband are both really terrible with faces. I have gotten pretty bad at faces in recent years, but the evidence is that as my health issues resolve, some of my lost abilities are returning. I feel really weirded out when people talk to me like they clearly know who I am but I don't recall having seen them before. I try to not let it show and I try to interact in manner which honors their apparent assumption that we are acquainted. I also just tell people I have a medical condition/crappy eyesight/am terrible with names and faces, etc. I ask "What was your name again?" People seem to appreciate that I am interested and don't seem to hold it against me that I am handicapped.

My ex was career military. He relied on nametags. My son has done some reading on faceblindness. Faceblind people often identify people by voice or some other trait instead of by face. Sometimes it goes largely unnoticed because they find another means to recognize most people reasonably quickly.


I dono. The times I've played along were always really awkward. It's usually easier if I say something like "who the hell are you?" (I mean, in a joking way; and with a "I'm horrible at faces" and story about how I was calling the new guy at one of my jobs "David" for 6 months before someone else pulled me aside and told me he was really "dennis" - see, our email standard was first initial lastname, and I remembered people by email aliases. I then mention my desire for some kind of wearable facial recognition rig.) I mean, I cultivate something of a coarse image, and I think I can usually pull that off in a friendly and self-deprecating kinda way.

In general, the sooner I get it out there, the better off the conversation goes. The worst is when I get their name and I still don't remember context. I mean, an ordinary wearable rig with a twiddler and an email lookup would take care of that.


I am in a different social setting than you and I seem to have a different skill set. It wasn't exactly intended as advice. I am not fond of advice.

For me, getting to be on the other side of the equation has been a growth experience. People with the kind of innate abilities I had frequently become what I view as con artists and master manipulators. I think they don't necessarily intend for it to be that way. They just don't necessarily understand what it is like to be at the disadvantage. I hope more of my innate abilities return. But I cherish the lessons learned from walking a mile in their shoes. It has made me a better person.

Peace and best of luck.


It's why cities are stressful for the brain, I think. 99% of people we interact with are strangers, and we put up our social guard everywhere we go. Giving us a feeling of alienation, and increasing our fight/flight response.


I generally agree with you, and did upvote you, but I am currently in the largest city I have ever lived in and not really experiencing it that way. I suppose I need to think more about why that is, but I think part of it is that the gaslamp district was designed on a walkable human scale before the auto era. I am not a fan of cars and I find the modern American auto-centric lifestyle and urban design really stressful. Plus, I run into lots of people I know daily, in part because I walk everywhere. I actually feel less isolated here than in the last place I lived, though I had relatives nearby, grew up there, it is a smaller city, etc.


There is an effect, at least from my perspective, regarding size of cities. It really struck me during a vacation in Sydney. From a certain size on big, read huge, cities tend to break down to almost a cluster of "village communities". within these, you start to know each other. compared to munich for example, there were much more smaller stores and coffee shops right in the center of sydney then in some quarters of munich or any other random german city I know.

In between small and huge you get this ackward feeling anonoumity which stresses you, you get shopping malls out of town, something impossible in Manhatten for example since driving hours to do grocery shopping is just inconvinient. And all that is, I think, not natural to us humans. where this limit between big but not big enough lies, i don't know, maybe it depends on culture... but that's something I tend to see all the time i spend time real big cities. But maybe it's just me.


I am currently in San Diego and really really liking it. I am homeless and can't imagine affording a home here. But I love the weather, the walkability of the gaslamp district and just a whole lot of things. I have never lived in a large city before and disliked most of the ones I have been in. I have toyed with the idea of doing a kickstarter project related to the city (and county?) of San Diego.

I have looked around and asked around a smidgeon for online resources related to San Diego. I am getting the impression there isn't all that much, at least not anything really good. I wondered if people would be interested in having something better. I am still toying with the idea. At one time, I wanted to go into urban planning or something related. Urban planners tend to be career bureaucrats, many working for government. That is not my comfort zone. Before life interrupted my career plans, I was increasingly wondering what that "something related" part might be. I am wondering if I might be in the process of stumbling into it currently.


This is very true, if the city is built and cultivated on the proper scale.

There's a long video on Prarie Home Companion (on YouTube or Hulu), following Garrison Keillor around as he does the show, and at home in both Minnesota and Manhattan. As he's going through New York, he observes, as you've noted, that it's really a collection of villages.

I've had very similar experiences myself.




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