I have had something like this and a bunch of other parasomnias for a while, one of which I haven't really come across in any literature and doctors seem to have no idea what I'm talking about, so I'll try to explain.
I can't do it 100% of the time, but I can enter a dream/unconscious state whilst being fully awake. Here's how it goes:
- first stage you start seeing light swirling shapes that can take various colors, believe this is called hypnogogic hallucinations, but at this point you won't make any sense or shape of them
- second stage these swirling shapes start to take form into the shapes of images, sometimes flashing between different ones
- third stage directly after this is the "exploding head" part that doesn't happen 100% of the time but right in between that hypnogogic boundary I get an incredibly loud buzzing sound in my head, accompanied by a deep sense of terror - almost like you get from sleep paralysis.
- fourth stage, once you get past that, you enter a light "dream" state where you start to feel like you can move your arms and legs and walk around, even if you don't see anything - it's a very weird sensation because you can still "feel" your physical body lying in the bed at this time. I believe this is when sleep paralysis is happening.
- fifth stage I am in a dream state and fully lucid. I can maintain that state for a while before either losing the dream and waking up or falling deeper into unconsciousness. What's odd is in this state I am almost always in a dream-representation of my house. 99.999% of the time. Initially my doctors thought this was when I was sleep walking, but cameras ruled this out.
I have a bunch of other parasomnias like sleep walking/talking and bed wetting stuff when I was younger. It's all related somehow, but no one really knows what's going on that I've talked to so far. It's kind of cool but can occasionally lead to crappy stuff like insomnia or poor quality sleep, or when I injure myself sleep walking. The only thing that's ever come up in a sleep study (which I struggle to take because in those settings I can't fall asleep normally) is that I enter REM sleep very quickly, almost like a narcoleptic, but that was never the formal diagnosis. Another thing that's happened in more recent years, ever since I experienced DMT, that I will occasionally have dreams where my sense of time literally feels like decades have passed. It'll always be super mundane stuff too, and when I wake up it's a really disturbing feeling.
This is essentially what the advanced tantric sadhana of dream yoga is all about... Lucid dreaming is a super power. Cultivate a practice of recognizing when you are in a dream state (during sleep) and building the ability to visualize intently with the minds eye is essentially what all the esoteric traditions are trying to teach.
I don't really believe there is anything mystical about it, but yea, that stuff is interesting - and I am well practiced at becoming lucid during a dream state, due to chronic severe nightmares I've had since a very young age. But, what I am describing here looks and feels way different to me.
However, this is funny:
> According to Kragh, "The yogi is here instructed to think of whatever dream arises as being merely a dream and to relate to it without any fear. If he dreams of water, he should plunge into it or walk across it. He should jump into an abyss or sit down to be bitten by dream-dogs or beaten by dream enemies. He should fly in air, visit the god realms, or go sight-seeing in India."
> Blessing as illusory and getting rid of fear – Here, the yogi checks their mind during the dream to see if there is even the slightest fear, and if so, they should let go of it by recognizing that they are only in a dream. Once they've mastered the feeling of complete unobstructedness, they have "blessed their dreams as illusory" (sgyu ma byin gyis brlabs pa).
I basically do this but didn't know it was a thing. When I experience that sleep-paralysis like terror in a dream state, I try to conjure up the most horrible thing I can imagine until it goes away, stuff like that. Nothing ever comes.
If you want to learn more about Dream Yoga, Alan Wallace's Dreaming Yourself Awake is a great resource that includes guidance and exercises you can practice.
When you experience fear in a dream, remind yourself that what you experience is not what you are, in the same way that the movie is not the same as the screen on which it is projected. The monsters in our dreams are a reification of our fear, and the best way to address them is by allowing conpassion to arise and kindly comfort your fear as you would do with a child who is scared. Nothing in your dreamscape can harm you.
Anyway, I hope this helps. Alan Wallace recommends letting the monster hurt you in your dream, but personally I think it is not the optimum approach.
I am shocked that I was not aware this was a thing, thanks, I will check that out. I’m shocked because I’ve been practicing some form of a lot of this stuff my entire life without realizing it but never really came across this before.
I am intrigued by the tibetan stuff as well, I just started reading the relevant sections of “tibetan yoga and secret doctribes” by W.Y Evan-Wentz. It’s dense, and like I said I very much don’t believe in mystical things, but some of the techniques described here I see as potentially useful for addressing trauma, which I have struggled with for a long time. Accessing memories and exploring your own consciousness in this state can be terrifying but I’ve definitely dipped more than a toe in there before.
Thanks for this, my mind is blown. I’ve tried Supervised Ketamine/MDMA/psilocybin therapies to achieve similar goals but this seems much healthier if you are able to do it, as those experiences didn’t do much for me.
I get where you are coming from, because I've followed a similar path.
I'm not a spiritual person either; having frequent nightmares as a child led me to learning how to recognize the dreaming state and exert control over the dreamscape. I had learned how to do most of the exercises that Alan Wallace talks about in his book all on my own before I ever heard of dream yoga or Buddhism, so following through didn't require any faith or belief.
I can't speak of how to deal with fearing this state of mind itself because for me it's always been a tool to escape the scary situations I had unwittingly conjured during my non-lucid dreaming. Once you recognize that everything in your dreamscape is a manifestation of your emotional estate and your expectations, you unlock the ability to manipulate it at will. When you recognize that the evil person in your dream is nothing but a representation of your fear you are able to turn it into a non-threatening experience through self-compassion. You can literally go talk to them and say you feel sorry that they are scared and reassure them that they are safe with you, and they will turn into your friend. Because you are literally talking to yourself.
I do recommend practicing kindness and understanding in your every day life, as it carries over to your dream experiences once it has become a habit. Buddhists may describe this in more spiritual terms, but I see it in a mundane way. Maybe they are right, I don't really care. It works.
For me, I can do a lot of things - when I'm very proficient (it feels like a skill that can atrophy like any other skill can) I can conjure entire worlds and scenarios I'd never be able to simulate in real life - I can have sex with who I want, I can go to the top of a mountain, I can fly. This stuff is occasionally useful for my creative writing. more practically though, I've been using it lately to access memories that are usually very difficult to access in my waking life due to severe trauma. it's been very useful for that.
Hmm, ok. I lucid dream, but I can also daydream with nearly the same clarity. I use the daydreaming for most visualization and memory recall use cases. I could see how vivid dreaming could be used instead of that.
Cognitive productivity during sleeping hours; it may not be working on a problem but oftentimes is, or emotional labor. Oneironautics for it's own sake.
This very accurately describes what I've been having for some time. Got laughed out of the room by a few doctors. Tests didn't find anything wrong other than an arachnoid cyst in the brain (occurs in about 1% of population, effects vary).
Ultimately, fixed it by:
1) Having a glass of water before going to bed. Having another glass at night when I wake up to pee the first one out.
2) Spending 1-2 hours before sleep time gradually relaxing. No work/exercise for 2 hours before sleeping. Minimal activity for the last 1 hour. Mostly, browsing or watching something on YouTube.
I believe what you are feeling in stage four is not your real body on your bed. You probably lost the sensations of your physical body around phases two or three. Rather, by stage four you are already experiencing a dream and you haven't "projected" a particular visual image yet.
I suspect that "astral projections" are nothing but non-lucid dreams in which people dream that they are on their bed without realizing that it's not real.
How much do you normally sleep? To me it sounds like the sort of experiences I have when severely sleep deprived, especially the part about entering REM really fast.
I don’t know, I am pretty sure I am feeling my body and I am pretty sure it is when sleep paralysis taking effect - It feels like I have two bodies, first I can start to move my arms, but I can physically feel my toes, and if I try to wiggle them before paralysis has taken effect, it can wake me up entirely. It’s an extremely strange sensation but it does not last very long.
I’ve had this since at least far back as I can remember, around age 3-4. I don’t always sleep well but I’d say no less than the average person. 6-8 hours a night, but with whatever I have going on, sometimes it’s easier to do split sleep cycles like 4 hours sleeping (2 full rem cycles), 8 hours awake, 4 hours asleep. I feel much more rested when I sleep this way but it doesn’t coincide well with normal life.
>I experienced DMT, that I will occasionally have dreams where my sense of time literally feels like decades have passed. It'll always be super mundane stuff too,
I can't do it 100% of the time, but I can enter a dream/unconscious state whilst being fully awake. Here's how it goes:
- first stage you start seeing light swirling shapes that can take various colors, believe this is called hypnogogic hallucinations, but at this point you won't make any sense or shape of them
- second stage these swirling shapes start to take form into the shapes of images, sometimes flashing between different ones
- third stage directly after this is the "exploding head" part that doesn't happen 100% of the time but right in between that hypnogogic boundary I get an incredibly loud buzzing sound in my head, accompanied by a deep sense of terror - almost like you get from sleep paralysis.
- fourth stage, once you get past that, you enter a light "dream" state where you start to feel like you can move your arms and legs and walk around, even if you don't see anything - it's a very weird sensation because you can still "feel" your physical body lying in the bed at this time. I believe this is when sleep paralysis is happening.
- fifth stage I am in a dream state and fully lucid. I can maintain that state for a while before either losing the dream and waking up or falling deeper into unconsciousness. What's odd is in this state I am almost always in a dream-representation of my house. 99.999% of the time. Initially my doctors thought this was when I was sleep walking, but cameras ruled this out.
I have a bunch of other parasomnias like sleep walking/talking and bed wetting stuff when I was younger. It's all related somehow, but no one really knows what's going on that I've talked to so far. It's kind of cool but can occasionally lead to crappy stuff like insomnia or poor quality sleep, or when I injure myself sleep walking. The only thing that's ever come up in a sleep study (which I struggle to take because in those settings I can't fall asleep normally) is that I enter REM sleep very quickly, almost like a narcoleptic, but that was never the formal diagnosis. Another thing that's happened in more recent years, ever since I experienced DMT, that I will occasionally have dreams where my sense of time literally feels like decades have passed. It'll always be super mundane stuff too, and when I wake up it's a really disturbing feeling.