Without trying to be judgmental, describing STIs as a mere inconvenience seems incredibly cavalier, eliding a whole world of bad outcomes. Antibiotic-resistant gonorrhoea is on the rise, which is only going to get worse if we adopt a “just throw antibiotics at it” attitude. There’s a long horrible list of diseases that might not have the notoriety and lethality of HIV, but are still life-changing. Genital warts have no guaranteed cure. Herpes is treatable but not curable. Syphilis can cause adverse birth outcomes so even if it doesn’t affect you, spreading it can affect others. HPV is widespread but is associated with cervical cancer deaths, so not something we want more of. Then there’s monkeypox, hepatitis B, scabies, lice…
“Do as thou wilt, consenting adult” is one thing, but superspreader behavior affects the whole world through the network of relationships we all have with each other.
Right, herpes happens and it’s possible I may contract it some day and I and my partners are okay with that. People in the community vary on how much they care about this, but everyone I know that has it isn’t particularly bothered by it. Nothing like HIV. I still talk with people about herpes and make an informed decision about whether and how to engage with that person sexually. Someone may not know they have it and might be infections and that’s a known risk.
For gonorrhea, that’s what the clear conversation about testing status and other partners is about. I ask the person about everyone they have been with since a few weeks before they got tested, and what protection they used and the testing status of that person. Usually it’s only a few people because I don’t do the super promiscuous hookups some people do and I won’t have sex with someone who does. If worst case they contracted gonorrhea in between their recent test and the time we play and I contract it from oral sex with them, then my next plan would be antibiotics. If that fails and it’s antibiotic resistant, then that’s the risk I take. But you can see there are multiple steps along the way to reduce that risk.
Monkeypox doesn’t require sex to transmit. If I’m making out with someone or cuddling that’s still a risk, and I cuddle with a lot of people. I should probably get the vaccine. Lice also don’t have anything to do with sex. There’s a lot of ways you can be in close enough contact with other people who have lice. But seriously I haven’t seen that one since I was a child. Not even on my radar.
I have the HPV vaccine. Genital warts are caused by HPV so that’s probably low risk for me.
Syphilis is another one that comes with regular testing, so the risks are a similar story to gonorrhea.
I am vaccinated against Hepatitis B.
All of this stuff is calculated risk. Sex is extremely fulfilling for me, and every person likes to have sex differently. I did monogamy for 20 years. I had some great sex but I never experienced the joy and variety of sex that I have until recently. Living as a human being involves some risk. If you go hiking in the wilderness you could get killed by a bear. But people take steps.
And “just throw antibiotics at it” is a mischaracterization of my approach. I go through regular rigorous testing, I have clear direct communication with others about their testing status and sexual history, I only do oral without barriers but do use barriers for penetration, and most of the people I’m sleeping with are people I’ve known for a while or other people close to me know.
There’s no superspreader behavior. There is careful effort to reduce risk significantly and an awareness and acceptance of the risks as they exist.
“Do as thou wilt, consenting adult” is one thing, but superspreader behavior affects the whole world through the network of relationships we all have with each other.