There are literally thousands upon thousands of comments debating both topics ("owning" an apple device & app store stuff) on HN alone. Let alone everywhere else from reddit to governments.
If it was so simply one-sided, there wouldn't be such lively debate.
I don't think we need to rehash those thousands of comments to agree that the debate can't be settled in a single blanket statement?
I don't really have the same impression that you have had when it comes to discussions about Apple's approach to HN.
This linked comment (which I randomly found on HN's search) summarises what I've seen here:
"The way these discussions usually go is that a bunch of Apple users complain about the restrictions, a bunch of Apple users say they like them, and a few Android users like myself remind the complainers that there are, in fact, other options that don't involve forcing Apple to take away the rules that most iOS users appreciate having."
I do recall a few users opposing allowing alternative app stores (which is the debate that is freshest in my mind) because they prefer to stick to Apple's, and the common rejoinder from the community that nothing is being taken away from those who prefer to stick to Apple's store but that other users who want something different have more choice.
I'm still curious about what additional nuance you have in mind, since I honestly can't remember seeing it.
You cannot summarize thousands of comments (there's nearly 4000 comments between [1] and [2] alone) in sentence or two and pretend like it is representative of the entire debate and everyone's opinion.
Even so, your quote and further commentary proves there is more nuance to be had -- some Apple users are complaining, some Apple users are defending, others are suggesting compromise! The nuance can be found when you examine how those separate groups of people came to their opposing opinions. To say there is no nuance, yet give an example of a more nuanced argument is almost funny.
While I have absolutely no interest in debating it, the example that first came to my mind regarding the "Apple thinks they own every device" comment was the nuanced debate around security, especially in relation to the target market of the devices.
Thanks; I didn't see that debate on security and I can see it being a valid point, especially with the burden of a technically-inclined person having to fix others' (family/friends) devices.
I was trying to point to the opinion of the majority that I've seen and what I have seen from most of the community when security is mentioned is that Apple needs stronger security from a technical standpoint rather than controlling what and what is allowed on users' devices. I think both opinions hold validity, and you may be right that there is more nuance.