I am not sure what OkCupid data you talk about, but some of their posts also showed that women respond to messages by men much less than vice versa. It was based on actual behavior, not reporting.
The content of mens messages had a lot to do with rate of responses. I don't remember if that was quantized in any way to try to control for it and remove it as a variable, or if it was just some article that showed what the average messages were, but it was bad, and I don't think rate of response is meaningful without factoring that in somehow.
There was a famous OKCupid post showing that men rated women on a bell curve (so the average was 5/10), but women rated men on average much lower.
Everyone took this to mean that women only want to date the top 20% of men. But it actually just meant women give out lower ratings and that's the only thing it meant.
