> I found the old phrase "buyers are liars" exists for a reason - people don't want to tell you their real budget
There's a flip side: you share your budget with someone, one which is a true budget (i.e. where options that exceed the limit will be ipso facto dismissed and those that fall under the limit will considered), and you later get mystifying utterances from the other participant in that past discussion that could only make sense if the discussion had not occurred.
It's like, "When I said my budget was $X, what did you think that meant?"
(It would be one thing for them to decide you're lying and to state that belief as some sort of preface to an option/recommendation/whatever that clearly doesn't fall within the agreed limits. It's another to decide that you're lying and then just proceed as if everyone is working from a shared understanding/agreement by all involved about what's in the person's head and there are no conflicts. Imagine if I told you that I don't like chocolate ice cream, and then you show up to the party with chocolate ice cream and an expectation that I will eat it, not because you forgot about my distaste for it, but because you just, like, decided that actually I do like chocolate ice cream.)
part of society operates on traffic problems that are ghosts.
people tell the truth until it's abused, then just stop. cars follow at safe paces until they get cut off by reckless drivers. whole hours of traffic is caused by a single guilty driver who serves into the exit lane.
Just for fun, a scenario in which this wouldn't be crazy is in a hypothetical society where pretty much everyone loves chocolate ice cream, but there is some cultural taboo against admitting it for some reason, but also a cultural expectation of hospitality.
Then it would not be unusual to say you don't really like it, but still be pleased they have some available.
Communication isn't just about what you say, but also what is implied, and that is culturally dependent.
If a lot of other people lie about their budget, then I have to assume you might be truthful, or might be exaggerating it. It doesn't make sense for me to assume you're definitely being truthful unless I know you well enough to know you're not like everyone else, and are more truthful than average.
It's not just about lying, a lot of buyers genuinely aren't sure about their budget because it really is a partially subjective decision of tradeoffs. "My budget is $400k max" "here's this amazing $405k house" "oh wow, ok I guess i my budget was actually $405k and I didn't realize it" is a common outcome!
Or they're even aware of this dynamic, and keeping the budget artificially lower at first is intentional to help control costs, knowing it's easy to let the budget gradually balloon as the process goes on but hard to rein it back in.
But then the realtor has the opposite incentive. Buyers and sellers have an incentive to get the best price they respectively can, but do not necessarily have any incentive to complete the deal quickly. Some do but some really would be fine shopping around for a year.
This is awful for the realtor, because the price variation isn't likely to be that much relative to the realtor's commission -- so the realtor is incentivized to not worry about the price and mainly worry about making the sale happen at all, and as soon as possible. A realtor who is too respectful of the claimed budget will be punished by the market. Making sales happen at all can be hard. Sellers don't really want to settle for the insanely low prices in this garbage market, and buyers don't really want to have to settle for the insanely high prices in this ridiculous market, but they have to meet in the middle somewhere, and therein lies the art of the deal: a relentless focus on Getting It Done, on Sooner is Always better then Later, and on It Ain't Over Till It's Over.
If you understand this all realtor and similar dealmaker behavior suddenly makes perfect sense.
Except of course for motivated buyers/sellers, which are just like random manna from heaven from the point of view of of the market... but underpriced listings and overbudgetted buyers tend to be snatched up off the market very quickly, often by the first counterpart that sees them, so most of the market's energy has to be spent on the great mass of hesitant buyers and sellers who are working to convince themselves that they can manage to live with the prices they must compromise to accept. (This is also why if you're looking for a deal, you have to get notified of brand new listings every day and immediately jump on any gems.)
Exaggerating on resumes is similar. At a recent job I had a manager who expected quite a bit of exaggeration on resumes, to the point that I realized I've probably been hurting myself in the past by being too modest -- at least for hiring managers with a similarly jaded view.
> Imagine if I told you that I don't like chocolate ice cream, and then you show up to the party with chocolate ice cream and an expectation that I will eat it, not because you forgot about my distaste for it, but because you just, like, decided that actually I do like chocolate ice cream
> If you understand this all realtor and similar dealmaker behavior suddenly makes perfect sense.
I didn't say it didn't make sense. Thieves are something else that exists. Their behavior makes sense. But that's not the point. The point is that it's shitty.
There's a flip side: you share your budget with someone, one which is a true budget (i.e. where options that exceed the limit will be ipso facto dismissed and those that fall under the limit will considered), and you later get mystifying utterances from the other participant in that past discussion that could only make sense if the discussion had not occurred.
It's like, "When I said my budget was $X, what did you think that meant?"
(It would be one thing for them to decide you're lying and to state that belief as some sort of preface to an option/recommendation/whatever that clearly doesn't fall within the agreed limits. It's another to decide that you're lying and then just proceed as if everyone is working from a shared understanding/agreement by all involved about what's in the person's head and there are no conflicts. Imagine if I told you that I don't like chocolate ice cream, and then you show up to the party with chocolate ice cream and an expectation that I will eat it, not because you forgot about my distaste for it, but because you just, like, decided that actually I do like chocolate ice cream.)