What the author describes sounds similar to the normal process of reviewing a first or even a second draft, but with extra terror and bullying built into it.
Every essay I receive is graded with a terrible harshness. Almost no one gets an A on the first try. But all students are given a second try. I return their essays with dozens of comments in the margins, a graded rubric, and a paragraph of instructions on how they should improve their work.
> I return their essays with dozens of comments in the margins, a graded rubric, and a paragraph of instructions on how they should improve their work.
I read that comment as a response to the teacher’s stated goal of using the first essay to establish dominance and power. Is it bullying? I don’t think so, if it is applied evenhandedly.
Some excellent essays are probably getting marked down to achieve the shock-and-awe effect, and that’s not super fair.
But as powerful people like to say to the powerless: who said life was fair?
It doesn't seem to me to be about fairness or unfairness; it's teaching. Students didn't have to prepare a second draft, illuminated by the teacher's comprehensive remarks; but it would have been stupid not to seize that opportunity to learn.
He's marking the first drafts down to emphasize the importance of paying close attention to his remarks. And "paying close attention" to the teacher's remarks on an essay really means rewriting it.
These students aren't being bullied; quite the opposite, they are receiving individual care and attention from a dedicated teacher. If only all teachers handled essays in this way.
> If only all teachers handled essays in this way.
The interesting thing to me about some of the pro- comments being made here is their bizarre stridency. Here's another from downthread:
> I agreed with everything I read and wished I'd had so much consideration, both as a student and as a teacher.
I have some definite opinions about pedagogy but the thought of educators all working precisely the same way sounds like something out of The Twilight Zone or Orwell or something.
I didn't think I had been "strident", nor did I think the comment you quoted sounded strident. And I had the impression that the pro- commenters generally wished that their own teachers had worked like that; so I'm not sure where your impression of a kind of sinister sameness comes from.
It seems to me like there's some distance between wishing one had experienced a certain kind of teaching and wishing only one kind of teaching existed.
> If only all teachers handled essays in this way.
I guess I meant I wish all essay-markers took the trouble to make constructive comments, rather than just "2/10" at the bottom. Why take care over your essay, if the marker isn't going to show any evidence of having actually read it? And if the marker doesn't read it, presumably nobody will.
My objection is with the particulars of how the author is handling his students' first drafts, and I guess I enumerated my objections elsewhere. I agree that it's better than not doing drafts at all.
I think there’s a lot wrong with skipping the draft process and replacing it with… a graded draft, essentially. But I’m just willing to take the author at his word on the following point:
> Every essay I receive is graded with a terrible harshness.
Pretty much every essay will have flaws, things to comment on, things to improve. Students especially are not going to write perfect essays, not when professionals have editors and they do the same thing, lol.
I don't think this bullying if he is upfront about the rubric/requirements. He isn't saying he doesn't give them an A on purpose. He says almost noone does against those requirements set out. As long as those requirements are not unreasonable.
He is also explicitly giving them instruction on how to improve as well as comments. If they follow they follow the suggestions and then get an A. That seems fair.
I don't remember my teachers ever reviewing a first or second draft for me. Just turn in an essay and get a final immutable grade.
I do have a vivid memory of getting my first A in 8th grade art class just by asking what I could improve in my drawing a couple of times before the final turn in. Apparently I never thought to apply the same process the rest of school :/
They were never taught American school essay writing style before ever. And while Americans think it is the most natural thing in the world, it come across as completely artificial weird structure with no real rationale for people outside of it. Meaning, they have zero chance to get A even if he gives out super detailed instructions. Because he is asking them too much.
He is not giving them As on purpose. He made grading system that ensures it.
> Americans think it is the most natural thing in the world.
By and large, they do not. (Where did you go to high school? I'd like to send my kid there, if that's true to your experience.) Argumentative essays seemed just as "artifical [and] weird" to the vast majority of the native English-speaking American college freshmen I taught as they did to the author's Chinese students. We can speculate about the reasons for that, if we like.
The cohort who (in my experience) were best-prepared for that style of writing / thinking were German ~16-year-old ESL students coming from their gymnasia system. Those kids were a delight, and really kept me on my toes.
Look at the bits just before and after what you quoted:
> That is the second key to reaching cynical teenagers: they must be treated like men and women whose decisions and opinions matter. I was eager to learn from their observations and opinions. I genuinely believe I have as much to learn from my classes as they do from me. […] Students were eager to tell me of these conclusions because they believed (rightly) that I valued their insights and experiences. […] mostly to my attitude towards my students. Taking students seriously means setting high expectations for their work. This is the harder path: requiring more of students means investing more time and effort into their growth. […the part you quoted…] This process requires double the work on my part, but it makes the students better writers. Teach things that matter. Believe your students matter. Set high standards, but invest the time to ensure your students can meet the standards you set.
I wouldn't describe the approach as “terror and bullying built into it”.
I think the word choice comes from the idea that the students get forced into taking the reviewers position.
While this is a dynamic that can happen, it is by no means how the process should play out. So if that's the perspective and if one can't see the setup as an instructor offering guidance, one better doesn't attend university at all. And if the bullying scenario happens, find another place!
I agreed with everything I read and wished I'd had so much consideration, both as a student and as a teacher.
I wonder why this isn't standard. I guess the extra work involved.