I feel like I may have it, but I am so down in a hole I just want others to do the boring shit like cooking and cleaning and billing for me and I can just work & play. I have tried for years alredy.
Is there a solution for that?
I think you shouldn't even try to self diagnose and get a professional assessment instead.
To give my personal anecdote, to me it sounds more like depression. I have ADHD (diagnosed at a very young age) and the thing is I very very much want to do the boring stuff. However the procrastination and forgetfulness is almost unavoidable and much worse is how hard it is to focus. Couldn't read a page of a book if the window is open and I heard the slightest bird chirp. Need absolute silence and order to be able to focus on the task at hand.
I hear that depression is often comorbid with ADHD, since people who struggle with executive function to the point where they’re having trouble keeping their life in order are also likely to get depressed about their inability do do anything about it.
Ideally, do just what you said and have another person to do those things. My wife has ADHD and I take care of all financial stuff and most of the cleaning (we also have a maid but she only comes weekly). We each cook for ourselves, but she largely does pre-made meals and takeout, whereas I actually cook all of my food from scratch.
That maybe sounds asymmetric and unfair, but though I'm healthy now, I've been in situations in the past where I couldn't even dress myself and she took care of me. It's a lifetime partnership. Workload doesn't need to be perfectly symmetric at all times. Besides, when I lived alone before getting married, I also paid all the bills and did all the cooking and cleaning myself, so it's not like this added work.
It sounds like you're maybe looking for a virtual assistant of some sort? I recently heard of a company Athena (more geared towards founders) and "The Doers" (more geared towards women business owners, I always get their ads on IG) but I think you can find a VA in many places. Not an expert in this space though!
Oh, duh. Yes. My bad. I guess an assistant of some sort? Or task swapping with someone else? My roommate cooks and I clean, so at least it's only 1 out of 2 things I don't like to do that's covered.
which as another commenter said, sounds like depression.
Besides, medical diagnosis advances with time and better understanding, and some "regular human traits" turn out to be symptoms of problems we didn't previously understand. Yes, not everything is a disorder, but an argument that amounts to "in my day we just got on with it" isn't very helpful either.
