Send your DMs when people are on "busy" status anyway. They can respond later. That's the huge advantage of remote work. Async communication is so much more efficient. If you're watching the clock, there's something wrong.
Work != socializing. Quality work requires deep concentration over long stretches of time, not tapping on a shoulder at random intervals. Both IRL and virtually.
I keep seeing people say this, but I always sympathize with others who lament the lack of socialization that comes with remote work. I have several engineering friends, and myself, who all have gone full remote and are starting to go a little insane from feeling lonely all the time.
"Just socialize outside of work!" seems to be everyone's go-to response, totally missing how much time is taken up by the 8+ hours of the workday, and how much ambient socialization has been lost with that time now spent remote.
Sure, remote is more convenient for "deep work", but I honestly never had issues with that in-office: If I had my headphones on, people didn't bother me. If I had questions, I'd take them off and look around to see if anyone else was "surfaced" to talk to, or ping someone on slack. In the meantime I could kill time chatting with my team or going for a walk around the building--when I would inevitably find someone else from another team who was taking a break, and I could either ask them or just chat.
Now it's just me, in my apartment, all day, except for maybe standup. The only reliable face-to-face human interaction I have is my partner when they come home from work--and they're usually exhausted and ready to go to bed in an hour.
Work absolutely used to be a significant portion of socialization--just like going to classes used to be, in college or secondary school. We've absolutely lost that.
> "Just socialize outside of work!" seems to be everyone's go-to response, totally missing how much time is taken up by the 8+ hours of the workday, and how much ambient socialization has been lost with that time now spent remote.
You're working remote, not necessarily working from home. The world is your office now.
For particularly meeting heavy days I have experienced no shame going on a daytrip while on those calls. It's nobody's business how you do your job remotely anyway. Get some coding in while stopped somewhere. Yes this means I have to make up for lost time in the day with all the interruptions. No I can't just put away the laptop at 5pm because I still have stuff to do (usually done by 8pm), but it's worth it. If Sarah from accounting is allowed to flex time to pick up her kids from soccer practice, I'm allowed to shoot the shit with random people I meet while getting gas or trying a new restaurant. There's your new watercooler. Go to the beach or something. If your partner is driving you around, even better. Use the laptop like its namesake suggests.
Not exactly a "digital nomad" lifestyle, but it's such a mood boost to mix light travel with working hours. It's a win for everyone if productivity goes up from these little things.
My team does collaborative sessions twice a week with the whole team, and has a game session once a month. Between all the rest of the meetings, and between the important work we get done through chat, I feel that we do get to know each other and enjoy the time we spend together online. Plus we have public and private social chats full of devs of relatively the same level or age groups where coworkers feel comfortable chatting about sensitive topics. I feel socially fulfilled by this but I can't know if everyone else does.
Why? I have friends and people I socialize with, I don't have to socialize with my coworkers. I am friends with people I've met along the way, but with everyone else I keep a distance and remain professional. Why is it unhealthy to have boundaries around work relationships?
It's a basic psychological need: humans are social animals. People spend 40+ hours at week at work for many decades. Unless you work only 5 hours a week, it's a huge fraction of a lifetime.
