I wouldn't, they're trying to sort your crap out, not stumble face first into something emotional. Keep it matter of fact, avoid prose/actual sentences written out the way you would and prefer bullet points ('safe deposit box #123 at Acme SDBs' not 'I have a safe deposit box, number 123, at Acme SDBs containing ...'), not handwritten, etc. IMO.
I would. And I would also like to receive such if I am the one sorting someone’s life through.
> they're trying to sort your crap out, not stumble face first into something emotional
You are freshly dead. If they cared about you they are already dealing with strong emotions. They are not going to “stumble face first into something emotional”. Everything about the experience, including every single bureucratic form is going to remind them of you, which going to remind them that you are dead, which is going to be painfull.
What do you want them to think in that setting? If there is something you would like to say to them in that moment, maybe you should think in the now if you are living your current days the best way to communicate that thing both with words and actions. But even if you do that you should maybe consider writing a letter reinforcing your message to them.
Why? Experiencing the death of a loved one is stressfull. The time leading up to it can be even more so. If you died suddenly then because of that. If you suffered and fought for long then because of that. Maybe you had some argument with your loved ones just before your death? Maybe you haven’t had a proper chance to say good bye? Even if you live your life the best there is a chance for something random and unpleasant to mar the last memories with your loved ones. If you leave them a letter that can help them with their pain, and give you a chance to articulate one last time the things you want them to know.
I understand that you are aiming to spare your relations from emotional anguish so they can better concentrate on whatever task is at hand. It is I believe comming from a place of caring. And there is something to it. Maybe separate the emotional last message from the official stuff? Put it in a separate envelope and make it clear who it is adressed and that it is a last message? And then they can decide when to read it. Maybe they want to read it first and then cry for a few days and then get stuff in order? Or maybe they need to mourn you before they are ready to read it and mourn you even more? Or maybe they will never read it, and that is fine too? But they have at least the option if they want to.
Now I assume you are a lovely person and you have lovely loving relationship with your closed ones. So don’t take this personally. But if i would get the last box from some relative and there is a bunch of car keys with no personal note… i might think they cared about their car more than me. Of course this is context dependent and the context is the relationship as it was lived.
I suppose my point is the person is fairly 'freshly dead' as you say, but not immediately, people don't (at least in my experience) deal with this sort of thing immediately, they're not even thinking about it until after the funeral, and started to slightly get a bit of a grip on things again - but yes it's still pretty fresh, and it's not going to take much to push them over the edge, a handwritten note in the dead person's words will bloody well do it! Which is why I wouldn't personally do it, or be glad of it as a recipient in that moment.
But look, I'm not telling anyone what to do, obviously (I 'd hope), I just wanted to offer an alternative perspective to the top-level comment surprise that nobody had mentioned this yet as though it was something that obviously should absolutely be done.
And as I said in reply to other comment, maybe it wasn't clear, but I'm not saying such a note somewhere else is a bad idea necessarily, I just wouldn't lump it in with 'admin' stuff that they're trying to deal with, keeping emotions in check, personally.
Yes I'm not saying don't leave a message telling people you care about so, I just don't personally think it belongs with this 'admin' stuff. I'd find it an unwelcome reminder of them the person, and it would make dealing with it all a lot more challenging.
When I moved a while ago there was one box (large moving box) that I didn't unpack for years because I knew it had such a reminder in. (Turned out it wasn't in there after all, but still.)
