Uh. All recorded history would suggest otherwise. Humans love bullies, strongmen, charlatans who promise panaceas at the wave of a stick.
What humans actually don’t like are bullies outside of the current established and expected hierarchy - bullies that threaten their bully.
Prestige and dominance are an utter time-sink, and the reward curve is hideously steep - unless you are at the very pinnacle of the hierarchy, you grind to stay afloat - whereas at the top, prestige and dominance magnetically attract to you.
I think a lot of what we take as being the default condition isn’t - we see all these behaviours and we assume it’s something innate to us and other primates - but I think it’s cultural and Malthusian, rather than a hard-baked desire for primacy.
The hard-baked desire is for survival - and prestige play is a minmax route to this for most people living in a society - it’s easier than setting up your own society. With blackjack. And…
Anyway. Ramblings. My perspective emerges from stepping sideways off the highway of life:
I once strove for status, and garnered no small amount. Didn’t do a damned thing for me - the hierarchy may as well be infinite.
I have found that I enjoy having less than zero status, as there’s nothing to lose, no plays to make, no maintenance payments to be made - here, everyone thinks I am a pauper, possibly mentally defective, definitely helplessly living in squalor off the land like our ancestors. The reality is somewhat different, but I’m content for others to think otherwise. I spent far too much of my life being dogged by high expectations.
I’m a sample of one, but I can’t help but try to examine why I feel as I do - and I think the answer is that I derive my security entirely outside of interpersonal relationships - I don’t owe anyone anything, nor they me, and I need nothing from them.
So… is status “real”? I doubt it. I think it’s just a manifestation of fear and insecurity, and a primal need for a parent figure who can protect and guide.
Perhaps the latter - parents - are also an important part of the need for social hierarchy, as they’re also an element I lacked, being largely raised by impersonal, militarised institutions.
I think it creates social instability when power becomes too decoupled from hierarchy:
That’s the whole point of a hierarchy, to mediate disputes other than the raw exercise of power — and conflicts become sudden and unexpected if insufficient status is granted to those able to wield power. This is a corollary to your point about outsider bullies; if someone strong isn’t integrated into the hierarchy, violence isn’t predictable and hence survival less assured.
Outside of that, I can’t say that “The Game” has held any particular appeal to me — and I dislike many of the status seekers I’ve met.
Like you said, the parenting aspect is crucial- that’s been well established in mainstream psychology for a long time now.
The opposite of insecurity is trust (either in oneself or others), and this is difficult to develop later in life. There is research into this nowadays, anywhere from cognitive science psychology to MDMA assisted PTSD treatments to develop self-trust, but conclusive understanding still evades humanity at this point in time.
I do think most people who are very intelligent in terms of IQ, but have other issues… end up in a similar situation as you. Smart enough to overthink and realize where they exist in society, not smart enough to solve the problem when the solution is supposed to be handed to them from their ancestors.
That’s not an insult by the way- Einstein was smart enough to create relativity, but he had algebra and calculus etc handed to him from his ancestors. I doubt Einstein would have invented relativity from scratch.
I wonder if it’s possible to capture the key essence of parenting and re-teach people critical information that’s supposed to be taught in childhood. We all know about language acquisition and the critical period, after which if a child is not taught, they end up like Genie (the feral child, born 1957). But I suspect there are other social skills that are supposed to be taught, but commonly are not taught by parents, or simply unable to be taught if the parents do not exist.
the book The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron kinda does this for some things.
It did help me a lot, I guess you could say it taught me the art of "self parenting".
Uh. All recorded history would suggest otherwise. Humans love bullies, strongmen, charlatans who promise panaceas at the wave of a stick.
What humans actually don’t like are bullies outside of the current established and expected hierarchy - bullies that threaten their bully.
Prestige and dominance are an utter time-sink, and the reward curve is hideously steep - unless you are at the very pinnacle of the hierarchy, you grind to stay afloat - whereas at the top, prestige and dominance magnetically attract to you.
I think a lot of what we take as being the default condition isn’t - we see all these behaviours and we assume it’s something innate to us and other primates - but I think it’s cultural and Malthusian, rather than a hard-baked desire for primacy.
The hard-baked desire is for survival - and prestige play is a minmax route to this for most people living in a society - it’s easier than setting up your own society. With blackjack. And…
Anyway. Ramblings. My perspective emerges from stepping sideways off the highway of life:
I once strove for status, and garnered no small amount. Didn’t do a damned thing for me - the hierarchy may as well be infinite.
I have found that I enjoy having less than zero status, as there’s nothing to lose, no plays to make, no maintenance payments to be made - here, everyone thinks I am a pauper, possibly mentally defective, definitely helplessly living in squalor off the land like our ancestors. The reality is somewhat different, but I’m content for others to think otherwise. I spent far too much of my life being dogged by high expectations.
I’m a sample of one, but I can’t help but try to examine why I feel as I do - and I think the answer is that I derive my security entirely outside of interpersonal relationships - I don’t owe anyone anything, nor they me, and I need nothing from them.
So… is status “real”? I doubt it. I think it’s just a manifestation of fear and insecurity, and a primal need for a parent figure who can protect and guide.
Perhaps the latter - parents - are also an important part of the need for social hierarchy, as they’re also an element I lacked, being largely raised by impersonal, militarised institutions.