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> She would tell me about every little negative thing that happened between us.

I would not want to be in such a relationship, to be honest. Just learn to accept each other's small flaws and try to be kind. Little things only build up if you let them. Verbalising everything and putting negativity into focus is actually one of those ways that scar tissue can build up. The best way for it to not build up is to let the little things go.




>Little things only build up if you let them

I thought I was this way before. I realized that it's not true, I am bothered by the little things and they do add up over time. I may not remember exactly how many times some little pet peeve has annoyed me, but you can bet by the fourth or fifth time my physical reaction to the peeve will be much stronger than the first time. It's feels like indigestion, a really unpleasant sensation in the gut. Once I notice I am having an unpleasant physical reaction to something I try to get it out immediately if it's something that I feel we should talk about.


I also have peeves that I find hard to let go of, but I view those as a personal flaw.




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