I think the parent’s tone/style would be risky for many to take, but I don’t think you could be faulted to ask something along the lines of “what’s the goal of the meeting, and is there an agenda and pre-read materials that will be distributed in well in advance of the meeting so that I can come prepared to contribute?”
If declining a meeting is a sackable offence then you should do absolutely everything you can to get yourself fired from that role. Drop a production database to save yourself from a massively toxic workplace.
This kind of labor power imbalance is fairly commonplace across the US. You're really not going to find a place that'll let you decline meetings because you don't wanna go.
