Everyone is built different, I think I would have done good in a similar situation. I'm already an introvert, but having kids, a wife and bills to pay sometimes just gets overwhelming. I have a friend that has been in and out of jail for the last 10 years or so. We talk a few times a year (at my expense) and I hate to admit I sometimes get jealous. Every time he gets out, he goes right back to his old self: smoking, drugging, and missing parole meetings until finally a warrant is issued. I would think I would emerge from a jail cell full of newly gained wisdom. I'd reenter the world a master plumber, HVAC tech, CPA, and maybe even psychologist. Heck might even have some wonderful startup ideas. But in the current grind of things, I feel I have no room for self improvement or learning.
> I'm already an introvert, but having kids, a wife and bills to pay sometimes just gets overwhelming.
It took me years to become self-aware enough to understand who and what I am.
I love my daughters to death, now grown up, but I wish I could have been older and wiser when we had them so I could have done a much better job raising them.
Living in a small house with 3 other people, two of them noise-making children, on top of working from home (I was self-employed for 15 years) was very difficult for all of us and nearly killed me (literally). Had I understood why noise bothered me so much, why I needed time and space to myself, and why my anger issues were likely autistic meltdowns I think we could have made things work so much better and found a way to give our daughters a much happier and less stressful childhood.
This is one of the great things about the Internet. I was able to discover what introversion is, what high-functioning autism/aspergers is (no, I've never been diagnosed but even my mother tells me that it would explain my entire childhood), that other people go through this too and how to have these types of conversations with the people closest to you.
I'm very lucky to have a wife as patient and understanding as I do. We were high-school sweethearts and she went through the learning and discovery process with me.
I can't help you with how to make the time for self improvement and learning, but do know that it's not just you.
Everyone is built different, I think I would have done good in a similar situation. I'm already an introvert, but having kids, a wife and bills to pay sometimes just gets overwhelming. I have a friend that has been in and out of jail for the last 10 years or so. We talk a few times a year (at my expense) and I hate to admit I sometimes get jealous. Every time he gets out, he goes right back to his old self: smoking, drugging, and missing parole meetings until finally a warrant is issued. I would think I would emerge from a jail cell full of newly gained wisdom. I'd reenter the world a master plumber, HVAC tech, CPA, and maybe even psychologist. Heck might even have some wonderful startup ideas. But in the current grind of things, I feel I have no room for self improvement or learning.