"mindset" is actually a pretty reasonable descriptor I think (I'm not an expert though).
I think a lot of the confusion does come from people having a hard time separating "what does this person want me to call them" from "how do I treat this person". I think (again, I speak only for myself, and I'm not even trans) most trans people would be happy to be called their chosen pronouns and treated in a neutral way.
There is a lot of history backing up a more constrained interpretation of gender and interpersonal relationships, and the present situation is definitely outside many people's comfort zone.
Does everyone take "woman" as this meaning though, or is this the root of the confusion that everyone has ?