Assholes are those who do not have the well-being of others at heart. They are generally wrapped up un psychological armoring, wanting to make an impact while also don’t want to be touched. As such, they have terrible problems with intimacy.
Note that my other two advice addresses those. Being able to care for and contribute to something greater than yourself can’t really be done while being an asshole. Although I wrote a couple sentences about this, this is actually a deep topic to explore.
As far as changing yourself, you’d make effort at changing that because you deeply want that change, not because society expects you to. If someone tried to fake it, it will come up during moments of intimacy, or when the relationship is stressed. It takes tremendous courage to experience the vulnerability that is revealed with intimacy; and social expectation as a motivation by itself is not a deep enough well.
As far as things like flirting goes because it is socially expected … if someone does it like that, at best, it is awkward —- because your actions are not connected to how you really feel —-, often with the other person being put off by it. (Unless they really like you, and they find your awkwardness cute or endearing). Or, it is shallow (social expectation is not a sufficiently deep well to draw from), or manipulative (focusing too much on the outcome, at which point, the other person is not a potential partner or lover, but a piece of meat which should do things if you followed socially expected behavior).
The short answer: you’d end up self-sabotaging, even if you get lucky and get some short term results.
Assholes are those who do not have the well-being of others at heart. They are generally wrapped up un psychological armoring, wanting to make an impact while also don’t want to be touched. As such, they have terrible problems with intimacy.
Note that my other two advice addresses those. Being able to care for and contribute to something greater than yourself can’t really be done while being an asshole. Although I wrote a couple sentences about this, this is actually a deep topic to explore.
As far as changing yourself, you’d make effort at changing that because you deeply want that change, not because society expects you to. If someone tried to fake it, it will come up during moments of intimacy, or when the relationship is stressed. It takes tremendous courage to experience the vulnerability that is revealed with intimacy; and social expectation as a motivation by itself is not a deep enough well.
As far as things like flirting goes because it is socially expected … if someone does it like that, at best, it is awkward —- because your actions are not connected to how you really feel —-, often with the other person being put off by it. (Unless they really like you, and they find your awkwardness cute or endearing). Or, it is shallow (social expectation is not a sufficiently deep well to draw from), or manipulative (focusing too much on the outcome, at which point, the other person is not a potential partner or lover, but a piece of meat which should do things if you followed socially expected behavior).
The short answer: you’d end up self-sabotaging, even if you get lucky and get some short term results.