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I've been in a stable and long lasting relationship for nearly 20 years. I could say plenty of things about my relationship but they'd be very anecdotal. But I have observed one thing in successful and unsuccessful relationships among our friends: Successful couples talk to one another, unsuccessful ones don't or have stopped.

Every day we have a chat like two friends. Changes from day to day, humorous or serious, world events or household events or gossip.

I wasn't super aware that not all couples do this, but as others around us have had problems and split/divorced they've opened up and said they've never really talked much, or they used to but haven't for some time.

It makes sense to me. Little problems turn into big ones because you never talked about them, your partner didn't know how you felt, and it escalates into unhappiness. Or (and I'm surprised by this, but it's been a theme in recent divorces) you never actually talked much with your partner and didn't know that they were a complete twat.




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