A large number of people I grew up with "wanted to see the world." My younger self modeled a lot of my desired outcomes on people's externally stated desires.
As I got older, I started realizing something: a lot of what people said they wanted was attainable for them and their socioeconomic status if they made different trade offs. So I started poking and offering advice on how they could "visit Paris."
What I came to learn is that they wanted to be the kind of people that wanted to visit Paris. But they never would go to Paris. It was the idea they liked.
I have well off family members who talk about wishing their son lived closer. They have the means to visit him. They're retired and live near an airport with direct flights, 3.5 hours door to door. But they never go. That's their Paris.
I don't want to live in my hometown. I don't kid myself - I value raising my family here where I live more than the extra time with family. But, at the same time, when I go back I spend that time in a way maximally meaningful to me.
I try not to have "going to Paris" wishes. I sacrifice protecting my ego from my own decisions but it makes me reconcile my decisions with my desires before reaching the state of irreversible regret.
It's clear you've put a lot of thought into the tradeoff between these mutually exclusive wishes but I'd still encourage you to look for ways to spend more time with your folks. It's not all roses but it's been precious for me, personally.
A large number of people I grew up with "wanted to see the world." My younger self modeled a lot of my desired outcomes on people's externally stated desires.
As I got older, I started realizing something: a lot of what people said they wanted was attainable for them and their socioeconomic status if they made different trade offs. So I started poking and offering advice on how they could "visit Paris."
What I came to learn is that they wanted to be the kind of people that wanted to visit Paris. But they never would go to Paris. It was the idea they liked.
I have well off family members who talk about wishing their son lived closer. They have the means to visit him. They're retired and live near an airport with direct flights, 3.5 hours door to door. But they never go. That's their Paris.
I don't want to live in my hometown. I don't kid myself - I value raising my family here where I live more than the extra time with family. But, at the same time, when I go back I spend that time in a way maximally meaningful to me.
I try not to have "going to Paris" wishes. I sacrifice protecting my ego from my own decisions but it makes me reconcile my decisions with my desires before reaching the state of irreversible regret.