The moment I make real eye contact I hope for the conversation to end quickly, because I can't disconnect the eye contact. I try to offset my gaze a bit, but for some reason my mind will try to make eye contact again, it's hard to concentrate and keep my eyes from making contact again. And when I make eye contact, it's like I see straight inside the person. Now that I think of it, this differs from person to person, it feels more weird when the other person is not someone close to me.
I'm curious how you feel when listening compared to talking.
I mean, is it more comfortable to concentrate with eye contact when you're listening to the other person? In other words when not trying to concentrate on forming a response to a question.
I appreciate this won't work in every situation. But I personally find it easier to make eye contact when I'm listening to a friend tell me about their weekend or something.
I think for me there's 2 levels of eye contact. When you look at the eyes, and then when your pupils look straight into the other pupils. When I look straight into the pupils, it's like I put a fix on them and I get some sort of tunnel vision. Now that I think of it maybe my brain thinks of the reverse, that I'm somehow put on the spot by the other person, and I become anxious. Doesn't happen all the time, but when it happens, it becomes weird.
