On: How does Windows decide whether your computer has ...

[qwertywert_]

Can't you disable NCSI in registry? Or does that not actually help for those other services internally?

[picture → qwertywert_]

If you do so, which I have tried, it will just show permanently no internet

[justsomehnguy → picture]

You configured it wrong - Not Jobs

I had my share of troubles with it, but most of the times I found a way to force it work as I need.

[RedShift1 → picture]

Lol, the developer who wrote it that way is definitely the "want to watch the world burn" type.