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I will counterpoint this. I seem to have very high risk aversion, but I still tried blowing a couple hundred for my brother's bachelor party. It was the first time I had ever done real gambling, in a casino. I was excited to play slots, because I've had times in one videogame or another to play an example of slots and it was fun to make the numbers go up.

Gambling isn't fun. The slot machines are just bright lights, and the vast majority of their exterior is spent on explaining the rules so they can have extremely complicated games so they can legally boost payouts, without violating the law. The very first machine I touched was something involving ducks. I put in a twenty, pressed a button, and lost ten dollars a second later. I literally sat there wondering if I had missed something, or didn't understand how to play.

Okay, whatever that's a higher stakes game than I should be playing. So I moved onto the "penny" slots, which are contrived bullshit machines. They "run" fifty "bets" simultaneously so that one actual play is 50 cents but can claim that each "game" is only a penny. So I got to actually playing, pressing the bet button, getting the reels spinning, and winning and losing.

There's nothing there. There are beeps and boops and things moving, but like, so what? It isn't the 50s anymore, we shouldn't really be entertained by the most basic beeps and boops that were possible before transistors were invented. We are well past pong in this day an age, shouldn't there be something more? It's also VERY obvious from right the first second that you WILL lose more than you win. After just ten plays you will have a pretty good idea of the downward trend you face, even if you somehow get big wins here and there.

So I move from machine to machine. I eventually find a machine made by konami, you know, the guys behind huge popular video game franchises, like castlevania and metal gear and DDR. Turns out they make a lot of gambling machines nowadays, and pretty much only those. This machine had a large high resolution display, and bright lights and loud sounds. But, it was exactly the same. It's just a few digital reels that pretend to spin and lock into whatever set up the RNG already decided you will get.

Okay, fine, I've always wanted to play blackjack and I have $100 here I've decided to play until gone. So I go look at the card tables. Turns out, every game has bespoke rules on how you are allowed to bet, how you can play, and the game runs at an absurd pace. Not only can you not use simple and classic blackjack strategy because of the limited betting system, but it nakedly shows how stupid gambling is at all, because the rules unilaterally limit any possible upside for the player, while leaving their downside wide open. A simple house edge was not enough for this rule set, instead you are required to set a personal max bet before each round, and it doesn't matter how good you do that round you can't bet more than that ante. The quick pace also makes it impossible to actually think on your cards, decided how good you think that is, and bet accordingly. Meanwhile, all the other players at the table have obviously been here every day this month, are losing hundreds every few hands, and keep telling you about their "system" that totally works and definitely beats the super stacked rules in this game.

That was it. That's when I realized that gambling isn't fun. Gambling games simply are not designed to be fun, because nobody plays them for fun. A more fun game does not bring in more money for the casino. Instead, they make more money by simply running more "games" per second, because most regulation is around the odds you are allowed to set up "per game" essentially. Look back at that konami slot. They make ACTUAL games, for ACTUAL fun, at least at one point. Compare the konami slot machine to an arcade cabinet of Gradius; It's literally designed to kill you and take your coin once every minute or so. And that is still less greedy, over-engineered, optimized, and hollowed out than even the simplest slot machine I could find. Castlevania is fun. Metal gear is fun, even though I think the story is dumb. DDR is incredible fun. Slot machines and gambling are not fun unless you get that magic hit of dopamine every time you press that button, and if you do, you are directly susceptible to being physically addicted to gambling, and every single light, sound, smell, touch in that building has been expressly optimized to give you that hit of dopamine and get you addicted.

I don't understand why anyone defends it.




I feel like I shouldn't be selling you on gambling, but I actually have very similar thoughts about some of the games you mentioned.

Slots: are a waste of time imo. I don't know why people like these.

Blackjack: is kinda fun but you really gotta print out a card that tells you how to play with which hands. You can kinda try to guess when you'll get a run of luck but I am also not super into this game. Feels very formulaic.

Poker: Ah yes, poker is FUN, texas hold em with friends is a great way to spend an evening. But I think it would be a lot less fun at a casino tournament because enough of those people are very serious about it and they will roll me.

Roulette: Good for a quick bet or two, but lingering at the table too long is a road to despair.

What does that leave me with? Craps!

Yes, craps. it is very easy to understand the basic bets and it is a communal game. Generally speaking, the people playing at a craps table are winning or losing together. As long as you avoid any of the exotic bets on the board, the payouts are actually fairly even for a casino game. I usually enjoy craps, but there's a catch of course. You can win a lot or lose a lot very quickly. It's important to stop when you lose your limit, and it's important to walk away once you've been playing a certain amount of time imo.

That's my take on casino games anyway. I go maybe every few years.




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