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A Russian and an American sinner die and end up in Hell. As they stand before Satan, he says: "I give you the choice of your punishment: you can spend eternity either in the American Hell, or in the Russian Hell."

"What's the difference?", they ask.

"In the American one you're force-fed a bucket full of shit every day. In the Russian one, you're force-fed two buckets. Other than that, you're free to do as you please."

"Well, that's a no-brainer; I pick the American Hell", says the American.

The Russian ponders for a while longer and says, "I'd rather stay in a familiar place; I'll go to the Russian Hell".

A month has passed, and the sinners meet to compare notes. The Russian asks: "So, what's it like in your place?"

"It's exactly as advertised; I have to eat a bucket of shit every day, regular as clockwork, but other than that I'm enjoying life. What about yours? I can barely get through one bucket, two must be horrible!"

"Pah, it's not so bad. Most days, there's a shortage of shit, and they don't have enough to feed even one bucket to most of us. And sometimes the buckets get stolen altogether. Just like home; I love it!"




You may think it's merely a joke, but it's actually a premise of one of the main novels of an author who is considered to be one of the most (if not THE most) influential in modern Russian literature: https://www.thenation.com/article/archive/vladimir-sorokins-...


Beautiful. Never heard that one. Thank you.

Update: have not been able to get through it when I tell someone else so far. I collapse in laughter at the punchlines.


Usually the other version involves the American having to do headstands in shit.




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