I'd rephrase these two observations into more universal terms than personalization and mind-reading.
During a long emotional crisis I sought out existential therapy. The things it taught me can be summarized as: Everyone is having a bad day too and dealing with as much shit as you, and you are not the center of the universe even though you think you're the center of your own narrative. Once you internalize that, it's impossible to be too offended or even worried about slights from other people.
Additionally, we're products of these circumstances and anyone may be any way at any time for reasons you don't have a clue about.
Assume they mean well and prepare for the worst. But ultimately if someone slights you, it doesn't matter if it's because they think you're an asshole. You're you, they're them, and you're wasting your time if you're trying to be liked by people by being something other than yourself.
During a long emotional crisis I sought out existential therapy. The things it taught me can be summarized as: Everyone is having a bad day too and dealing with as much shit as you, and you are not the center of the universe even though you think you're the center of your own narrative. Once you internalize that, it's impossible to be too offended or even worried about slights from other people.
Additionally, we're products of these circumstances and anyone may be any way at any time for reasons you don't have a clue about.
Assume they mean well and prepare for the worst. But ultimately if someone slights you, it doesn't matter if it's because they think you're an asshole. You're you, they're them, and you're wasting your time if you're trying to be liked by people by being something other than yourself.